Daughter of Winter
by Terra-112
Summary: After the death of her grandfather, Allyn has nothing. No friends, no family, no purpose. Out of a desire to feel alive again, she goes to Prythian. She quickly learns that she has unknowingly stumbled into a world of politics and violence where ghosts of the past haunt the present, and she's at the center of it all. (AU fanfiction. No characters from the ACOTAR books in it.)
1. Chapter 1: Ink

Repressing memories with the sole intention of forgetting them is a very messy and inaccurate process. It's like trying to cover up a few words of a story with nothing but a bucket full of ink, you're going to damage a lot more than you mean to. But that did not stop me from trying to forget what shaped me.

As a result I do not remember much from my childhood. I like to think it was not a terrible one, but I knew it wasn't good. My first few memories are from after I was tossed on the doorstep of my grandfather, after I was abandoned by my parents. They are a blur of household chores and staying in a cold cabin alone, locked in a room with a handful of simple, yet productive, things to do. I was taught how to knit and sew, cook, and read at an exceptionally young age by my grandfather, who made sure I was putting my time to good use while he was away.

My grandfather worked as a knight in the baron's army, training the new recruits diligently and with little rest. He was so skilled with a blade that, if he chose to, he could have challenged both the baron and his heir to a duel and slain them both before you could count to sixty. He never told anyone the truth as to how he acquired these skills, instead coming up with some sort of fantastical story that a faerie in a pond had taught him, he had been personally trained as a member of the Queen's Royal Guard, or that he was a librarian on the continent before he picked up an ancient book and found himself bathed in the blood of ten guardsmen hours later. The morbidity of the story depended on his mood.

He was a kind man, one who disliked leaving me at the cabin alone in my younger years but saw no way around it, so he made up for it by spending any free time he could with me. He was always teaching me some new life lesson or how to act like a royal, telling me stories about the fae on the other side of The Boundary or about the legendary adventurer Alexander The Adventurous (who was my idol for much of my childhood), or passing on a bit of his skill with the sword or bow.

He always made sure to tell me that, even though I may not have been wanted by my parents, I was always wanted and loved by him. "The day that I found you, swaddled up in a bundle of blankets on my doorstep, was the best day of my life," he would tell me whenever I was feeling particularly sad or alone. He had enough love for me to cover for two parents, even though it did not show at all times.

I loved him dearly, but I could never call him a saint. I'd tried and failed to blot out many memories he had directly or indirectly created.

He made me to hunt and trap game long before any child should, resulting in a few times when I found myself on the brink of death, only to use the skills that he taught me to save myself.

He was prone to infrequent bouts of extreme anger that would often result in me running away for a day or two, waiting for him to cool off. I never blamed him for this anger, it wasn't reall his. The sickness was the cause of his rage.

Whenever his temper flared - it only happened once or twice a year - I would hide out in the forest somewhere, as I did not have any friends who's homes I could run to. I'd wait it out and come back to his open, loving arms. The sickness mercifully made him forget what happened during those harrowing hours and he was spared the guilt of his actions.

But the worse thing he did - and I cannot truly blame him for this as he did as much as he could to prevent it - was sow the seeds of a deep loneliness within me. The hours left alone at the cabin as a child and the times spent out in the forest, wishing my mother or father would come save me from his wrath, created a deep void in my heart that yearned to be filled more than a Peregryn yearns for the sky.

The isolation from my peers fed this void. Even though I was half-human, I appeared to be a fae at first glance. My hair, as white as freshly fallen snow, striking blue eyes, and pointed ears made me about as different as other humans in the mortal realms as you could get while still claiming to be human. This would have been fine if I had some iota of magic to call upon and put to work - maybe then I could have earned my worth in town - but I had none, at least none yet.

The only thing these fae features did for me was serve as a constant reminder of the circumstances that most likely resulted in my unfortunate birth. Few half-faes were made consensually. Most were the result of a particularly silly human running across The Boundary and into the Spring Court. To the fae there, humans were quaint and funny at best and a personal plaything at worst. The end result of humans with poor life choices and fae who cared little for them was half-fae like me, unwanted and often left to die.

But deep down, I clung to a vestige of a hope. Before the sickness had taken too much of my grandfather away from me, I sat down and spoke with him one day about my past. A few things had happened relatively recently - an event I blacked out as best I could - and I wanted to know more about the circumstances of my birth.

After much arguing, he relented. He told me about a letter that was inside of the crib he claimed to have found me in. The letter, he said, was short. "Love her as I hope to someday," read the words, black as night against the pale parchment. To me, these words only had one interpretation. One of my parents was still out there somewhere, waiting for me.

Somewhere out there I was still wanted.


	2. Chapter 2: Into Prythian

I thought I would be ready when the sickness finally strangled the last of his breath from him. I was not.

He did not pass easily, he dealt with seizures for years, periods of rage, memory loss, dementia, and insanity. Whatever it was that killed him had to have been sent from the deepest pits of hell for it to cause the level of suffering it brought on both him and I. The feeling of watching the only one you love, the one who taught you everything you knew, raised you from infancy, and loved you when no one else would slip away was indescribable. I felt all of his pain as if it was my own and agonized for years about how powerless I was against the disease.

He passed while I slept on the day of my twenty sixth birthday. I buried him that same day. I have no recollection of the months preceding or following his death. I spent those months like an automaton, moving from task to task without thinking. My emotions were drained, my nerves frayed, and my whole life uncertain.

One day I was resting in his old room, taking in his fading scent, pretending for one moment that he was still alive and well, when I saw a book from my childhood on a shelf. It was a collection of legends told about the fae within Prythian.

I knew that there was nothing left for me in the mortal world. I had no friends, no family, no job, and only a small amount of money. Prythian could be a fresh start for me, something I desperately needed after months of nothingness.

* * *

So there I found myself, standing in front of Fae's Watchtower, a colossal structure on the edge of The Boundary. I stared at it, absorbing each of the tiny details. It was built to intimidate, to show off the wealth and power of the fae. It achieved this goal fairly well.

Unlike the baron's castle, it was well kept. Its towering stone walls were clean and bare of any vegetation, save for a ring of rainbow tulips at the bottom.

I had little in the way of weapons or rations. I preferred to pack lightly and make do with what I found along the way. A bow and two dozen arrows, a hunting knife, a change of clothes, a simple bedroll, and a small bag full of a few gold coins and a particularly interesting blue gemstone was all I had. I gently laid a finger on the spot in my pack where the gemstone lay - a habit I had quickly developed.

"Halt!" A young and squeaky voice sounding voice rang out from one of the various arrow loops within the side of the tower. Through one of the slits in the wall I could see a crossbow and a glinting hazel eye. I stopped in my tracks and held my empty hands up in the universal gesture of surrender. "Guys! There's a human girl!"

"That's what you said last week," someone dismissively called back.

"And the week before!"

"No, I'm serious this time!" the voice sounded again. The voices indicated that these people couldn't be any older than I was.

"I don't mean any harm, I just want to cross into Prythian!" I told him. "I can pay for my entrance!" That was my plan. Fae had an affinity for gold that would have made a banker blush. The crossbow jerked.

"Stay back! I-I'll shoot!" The tip of the arrow jerked through the arrow loop. I took a step back and raised my hands back up above my head.

"Cauldron above, he's right. There's a human girl," another voice cried. I stood stock still and listened as I heard many clinks of metal and grunting. A few minutes later a string of four or five human-looking people stepped out from a small wooden door. They were all clad in poorly fitting mail armor and bore worn short swords. They surrounded me, but I was not intimidated. Despite the more squirrel-like features, they looked like mortal teenagers, no older than fifteen. The only major difference I spotted was that they were all slightly hunched over, like they weren't built for standing straight up. One of the ones got closer to me and crinkled his nose.

"She smells terrible," he said to his friends. Almost at that same moment I caught a large whiff of his odor, musty straw, sweat, and dirty fur. I nearly gagged. I bit back a sharp retort, I didn't want to anger them.

Then another fae stepped out. He was taller, older, heavier set, and more assertive. He too had the odd curve to his back. His plate mail was shiny and well kept. A small round buckler rested on his back and a sword was in his left hand. Unlike the others, his head was bare. Atop it were two triangular ears, both covered in short brown hair. In fact, every inch of his body was covered in fine hair except for the upper portions of his face. He drew his sword and pointed its well sharpened tip at me.

"Human," he began in a voice as rough as gravel. "Why are you here?" He began to advance forward and his small, beady brown eyes raked my body up and down. I started to take a step back, but a warning grunt from behind kept my feet firmly rooted in place.

"I want safe passage to the Autumn Court." From what I knew, the Autumn Court was the best suited for half-faes like myself. He laughed dryly.

"No. No one has left this court since Gaius left us to rot." My stomach tightened. "Now what are we gonna do with you…" he mused and he scratched his bearded chin. "Ferdinand, get the bindings and send a pigeon to the estate," he commanded. "Tell 'em we've captured a half-fae." The youngest looking fae, the one who had first seen me, tore off into the watchtower without a second's hesitation.

"What's going on?" one of the surrounding fae inquired.

"We're taking her back to Springfield," he stated. "Jarin will decide what to do with her."

"Why do you need bindings?" I asked, worry starting to creep into my voice.

"Humans can't be trusted. Not even half ones," He beckoned my closer. "Just follow me and nothing bad'll happen." That wasn't going to happen.

I dropped my pack and strung my bow in one smooth motion. An arrow was nocked before any of them could react. I aimed it at the eared fae's heart.

"Make a move towards me and I'm taking him with me," I said, voice going cold. My arrow was not ash and I did not know how effective it would be. I didn't even know if I could pull the string.

"How about everybody take a deep breath and try to resolve this peacefully," a voice called from the tree line. "I'm sure we can come to some kind of agreement without violence." A young looking half-fae strolled out from the edge of the trees and onto the path. He was short enough that if he were to stand next to me he would only come up to my eyes. Though he was small, he did not appear weak. The tight fitting tunic he wore made sure his muscles were apparent.

A permanent half smirk was etched into his handsome features. His jet-black hair was pulled into a messy bun, showing off both of his half-pointed ears. A straight line was carved into the sun kissed skin his left cheek. It began just below his eyelid and ended on the edge of his firmly set jaw. His emerald green eyes studied each of the fae very carefully. Deep within them sparkled flecks of purple. They, he was beautiful. I had never seen a more striking man in my life.

Three small throwing knives were strapped into a brown belt around his waist. Each was an inky black with a slightly blue point - faebane. Their honed blades shone in the light of the afternoon sun. His hands were casually placed in the pockets of his dull brown pants. The group of fae around me quickly switched their focus to him.

"Stand back," the eared fae gruffly ordered. The half-fae took another step forward. The group of fae pointed their weapons at him. More than a few of the swords shook with either anticipation or fear.

"How about you call off your troop. None of these kids need to get hurt," the half fae casually replied, tipping his temple towards one of the others. His diction was clean, sophisticated, royal. The eared fae drew his weapon and shrugged his buckler onto his forearm.

"Don't attack until I order it," the he ordered. He advanced towards the half-fae, his feet a shoulder width apart and rooted to the ground. He kept his broadsword close to his body, ready to defend against any strike. He angled his buckler to protect the left side of his body. "How did you escape the mines?" He demanded, his eyes pinned on the scar. The half-fae chuckled darkly and pulled his hands from his pockets.

"That's a long story and I don't believe we have the time for it," he responded. The smirk faded. "I'm not going to ask again. Call off your troop." The eared fae shook his head.

"Uric, take the girl back to the tower and bind her." The eared fae jerked his head back towards the tower. He then glanced around at the surrounding fae. He grinned toothily. "We're getting some real combat experience today," the eared fae said. The biggest of the fae stepped out from the semicircle around the half-fae and stepped towards me.

"Actually, no you aren't." The half-fae looked him in the eye. The eared fae froze, dropped his weapons, and then started dancing an insane jig, his arms and legs flying out at odd angles. "Much better." The half fae said, breaking out into a devilish grin. The younger fae all watched on in abject terror.

"You're a daemati…" one of them murmured.

"No, actually I'm not. I'm a- oh forget it." He gestured towards a spot on the grass. "Everyone go sit down over there for a bit or you won't end up like him." He jerked his thumb at the dancing fae. The fae suddenly squatted down low then jumped high into the air and fell forward, directly onto his face. The half-fae roared with laughter. He was met with silence. "Yeesh, tough crowd. Alright miss, come with me. I promise I won't bind you up."

I didn't argue. I couldn't fight magic like that. I didn't doubt that he'd take my mind before I could even think about loosing an arrow.

I followed him to the watchtower. He walked into the room and started looking around, for what I'm not really sure. I eyed his every move carefully and ensured he didn't get too close to me. I never took my hands off of my bow.

"I'm sorry, I haven't been able to properly introduce myself. My name is Lysander Ironwill. I am the personal emissary for the Autumn Court and I am at your service." He gave me a mock bow. "Whatever that service might be," he added sultrily. I stared at him, unamused. He tore a piece of paper off the wall and it vanished into thin air. "What's your name?" He asked as he threw open a few more cabinets rifled through them.

"Allyn." I saw no point in hiding it from him. He tore through the papers, tossing many of them to the floor. "Is it normally the job of an emissary to steal things?"

"Nope, just mine. I get all the degrading tasks, like stealing things and 'improving relations' however I can." He smiled and winked at me. I ignored him.

"We should probably leave now," he said.

"We?"

"You're coming with me. I'll explain when we start on our way." He left the tower and started towards the edge of the woods. I followed and retrieved my pack from where it had dropped on the ground during the attack on the way towards the tree line. His eyes followed my every movement. A predatory or protective gaze, I couldn't tell.

"I'm glad you're following me so readily. I would hate to have to force you." I said nothing. "Wilkys are always a bunch of pushovers," he muttered to me as we passed the group sitting on the grass. They still eyed Lysander fearfully. "I heard you say that you wanted safe passage through the Spring Court. I might be able to help with that, if you'll hand over that gemstone that you have." I suppressed a gasp. How the hell did he know?

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied. I instinctively touched the spot in my pack where it was located. Lysander sighed and turned to look at me.

"Don't you know that fae can smell a lie from a mile away?" A faint smirk played on his lips, warping his characteristic scar.

"That's not true. My grandfather knew fae better than the average human...he said that that was a legend spread by an old High Lord to make negotiations with humans easier," I was not as ignorant about their kind as most. "Plus, you're not a fae," I added. I'd seen many other half faes at home. We weren't special. We were as common as many types of lesser fae due to our high birth rate, we didn't suffer from the same extended development either, we were considered adults after only thirty years, not seventy, but we retained the amortality.

"I'm as much of a fae as High Lord Folius is," he sternly told me. "But I suppose I could be wrong. Do you want to open up your pack and see?" he asked, a certain sharpness to his words. There was no way I could salvage this. I'd just have to come clean.

"I'm sorry."

"Just don't do it again. I don't appreciate being lied to," he said evenly before moving on. "Do you want to go anywhere in particular in Prythian?" He asked me in a very friendly tone. I shook my head. "Really? Not even a specific court?" I shook my head again. I didn't want to open up to him much. "I know that's a lie too. If you can't open up to me at least a little bit, we're going to have some issues," he said. "I need to be able to trust you." Ah hell, I couldn't keep quiet my whole journey. Maybe I could learn valuable information from him.

"You said you were an Autumn Court emissary, right?"

"Observant, I like that. Yes I did, why?"

"I read that the court treats half-faes the best. Is that still true?"

"Yes, it is. A little too true, depending on who you ask."

"What did that fae mean when he said 'Gaius left us to rot?'" I asked, the question slipping out. Talking to Lysander felt as natural as breathing.

"That's a long story, I'll give you the short version. 'High Lord' Gaius, for a lack of a better term, flipped his shit a few centuries ago and used the vast majority of his power on sealing up the borders. The Spring Court's been suffering ever since. Look around as we travel, you'll see it. Of course he never really stopped people from entering it, he only made it moderately more difficult. Of course they don't let anyone in the court know that," he said. "Old fool," he muttered under his breath.

I regarded him with a newfound sense of wonder. To insult any High Lord so flippantly was surely signing a death warrant, let alone one of The Seven, the Seven High Lords who fought in the Great War, a conflict that happened almost eight hundred years ago. They were famed to have the power to bring the very heavens down, make the ground erupt at their feet, and resurrect entire cities with just one word. Lysander had to either be braver, stronger, or more insane than I first thought. .

"What makes this gem significant?" I inquired, pulling it from my pack. It had been in our possession for as long as I could remember. It had never shown any magical properties.

"It's Kalista's tear. Legend says it fell from her eye when she learned of her daughter's death. I don't know quite what it is capable of, but it was stolen a hundred and twenty years ago by a thief and she wants it back," he answered.

"What are you going to do with it?" I inquired.

"Give it to Lord Kendryek, who'll then give it back to her to improve relations. We've been on shaky ground ever since Erosa died," he continued.

"What happened to her?"

"She died in an attack."

"Care to elaborate?"

"For you? Anything." Initially I couldn't tell if I should blush or groan. Given what he had said early about his job, I assume he did whatever he could to bed a woman. I shuddered. "The Autumn Court is currently split into four main quadrants because High Lord Folius is weak and dying." I raised my eyebrows in surprise. The Seven were supposedly eternal and unwavering. "These four quadrants are led by four Lords. Aurelius the eldest, Ignis and Quercus, the paternal twins who have a grudge strong enough to justify multiple wars, and finally, the least terrible of all four, Kendryek, the youngest (youngest meaning about five hundred years old)." I did a small double take as I attempted to comprehend that length of time. "These Lords have been fighting for control over each other's lands for a long time because Folius did a shit job of dividing it up evenly when he handed over power.

"For some reason he decided to arbitrarily divide it into quadrants of equal size, forgetting the all-too-important fact that surface area does not directly equate to power. Quercus was left with a population a quarter Ignis', but with plenty of land and natural resources. Ignis had every single major port on Autumn Court territory. The imbalance of power immediately created conflict. It's unfortunate, as Folius was once known for his intelligence.

"As a result, Quercus and Ignis have been locked in a war for the last…" He counted to twenty on his fingers before giving up. "Let's just say a while. Kendryek and Aurelius got into a bit of a dispute a while ago and Erosa died in an attack on Kirkwall, the main town in Kendryek's quadrant of the court. Kalista had hand-picked a suitor for her only daughter to marry, so when she died at a foreign Lord's house, it was a major problem," he said. "Kalista has never forgiven Kendryek. He hopes that returning this jewel to her will make things better," he finished his explanation and sat down on the ground. "There, are you happy?" I nodded. I'd noted any information that seemed important to me. If the courts were at war, they'd most likely be looking for skilled fighters.

He suddenly stopped and sat down.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm going to have to tap your mind," he said. I tensed up.

"What?" I repeated with a lot more worry than before.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit. I'll just open up a little connection between the two of us. It's for safety reasons mainly, one of the higher ups in the court doesn't want anyone coming close to Lord Kendryek without certain precautions." His tone was as soothing as the the wind that rustled the tree leaves. I resisted the effect.

"Do I really look that suspicious?" I asked. He laughed.

"Not really. You look exactly like any peasant half fae girl would-"

"Thanks." I knew it was true.

"-but, for all I know you could be a Winter Court spy, disguised by an imperfect human-form potion to get yourself face to face with Kendryek, taking advantage of your surprisingly good looks and his soft spot for half-fae women," he explained. I stared at him blankly. I couldn't tell if he was being serious.

"That's absurd."

"It's happened before in other courts. Don't underestimate the ridiculous absurdity of magical creatures with lots of grudges and a hundreds of years worth of free time." So he was being serious.

"I still think it's absurd," I maintained.

"Well it's not. How long have you had that rock in your family's possession?"

"Um," I took a second to try and remember. "My grandfather said he's had it for twenty years. That was about ten years ago."

"So you've held a magical artifact of legend for thirty years and gone undetected until now? That's what I call absurd." I couldn't think of any kind of smart reply so I closed my mouth, sat down, and braced myself. I didn't have any choice in the matter. "Okay, I'm going to tap you now. Just relax, it's an easy process. Look into my eyes." I looked into his emerald green eyes. They were wide open, calm, and inviting.

I gasped slightly as I felt something brush against my mind. It was a sensation like no other and it was disorienting. I became aware of my mind, not as something unique only to me, but as a sole entity in a world that was a unlike our own.

In this different dimension I was blind. I could feel or see nothing around me. I was like a small child, completely defenseless and unaware of its surroundings. I something brushed against my mind again. I tried to lunge for it and get some kind of sense of what it was, but it was like trying to swim through solid stone. I was powerless.

A tether suddenly appeared, fastening us together. A small little rope, bridging our two minds. I toyed with it for a moment and got a very peculiar feeling, one I couldn't place.

 _"I'm going to check your intentions, shouldn't take more than a moment."_ I heard his voice as a thought in my head. The presences, his presence drifted into my mind and filed I caught the eddies of feelings, memories long buried and thoughts long forgotten as he scanned me. _"Get a job? I can help you out. No, I'm not going to send you to a whorehouse, I'm offended that you'd even think such a thing."_ Another moment passed as he delved a bit deeper. _"Search for your-"_

"Stop," I said out loud. "That's far enough." The presence immediately vanished, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

"Sorry, I'm just following orders," he joked. I eyed his suspiciously.

"That's not an excuse." He shrugged.

"Not when lives are on the line, but let's skip over this philosophical debate and get back to the task at hand; getting us back to the Autumn Court. Here's the plan," he started. "Off that way," he waved his hand, "is a cave."

"That's specific."

"Hush. This cave is a portal to a place in the Autumn Court. Think of it as...a broom closet tucked between pockets of the world. Except there is a door on both sides, and it's not really a broom closet...nevermind this analogy doesn't work. Because the Spring Court is locked up tighter than The Weaver's backside, there's gonna be some guards. You'll need to stay back while I take them," he explained.

"I'm not terrible with a bow you know," I protested. He gave me an annoyed look.

"Alright. So we risk your life and mine to pointlessly kill seven Spring Court sentries. In addition, it's almost impossible to kill all seven of them before they manage to send word of our location to Gaius or his son Terrin. Next thing we know the ground below us is torn in half and we get swallowed up like the Day Court's armies. Now tell me. Does that sound like a good idea?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No," I said, realizing my folly.

"Next time let me finish. The abilities that I have allow me to knock every single one of them unconscious without detection, but it'll take a moment. No one notices and we get to slip through the gates without a single problem," he continued. "That being said, it's not a bad idea to have your bow ready. If things go sour, you'll need to use it. Preferably on the enemy.

"We walk through the portal and into Autumn Court territory. We say hello to the hardass guards that hang around there, then we start making our way towards our cabin. We'll spend the night at an inn, then arrive at my cabin late at night," he finished. He pulled his pack onto his shoulder and I did the same.

"I'm ready to go when you are," I told him.

* * *

At one point we passed through a town. It was more or less identical to the poorer side of town, except there were more half-fae than humans. Buildings that had seen better days, grimy, unclean people, dirty streets, and unhappy looking people. It smelled of refuse and worse things, largely because it had begun to pile up in a few places in the street. I took great care to avoid getting pickpocketed.

The only thing that made me feel sure we hadn't gone the wrong way and ended up back in the Mortal Realm was a statue in the center of the town. It was of Terrin, the son of Gaius Earth-breaker.

It was a beautiful, terrifying, oppressive thing. It tower high above the houses, blanketing a large part of the town in shadows. It depicted Terrin, a broad shouldered, well-built, intimidating High Fae, standing straight up, staring down at the town, a zweihander in his hands. It radiated power, his power, across the town, ensuring that everyone who saw it knew the power of their lord. Two armored fae stood on either side of it, their bodies completely obscured by armor, watching of the town.

Their purpose there was to remind all of the humans in the town how small, insignificant, and powerless they were against him. It was there to remind them that if they revolted, if they decided to fight back against their ruler, they would be crushed. It was there to remind them to obey.

I was happy to get out of that town.

* * *

The sun was high in the sky by the time Lysander signaled for me to stop. We were now positioned beneath tall, spindly trees that supported curtains of leaves with thin trunks. A small amount sunlight streamed in through the gaps in the leaves and provided light in the otherwise dark forest. Lysander noiselessly dropped his pack to the ground and I did the same. I strung my bow and slipped a quiver of arrows onto my back. He crouched down low and ducked behind a large bush. I copied his movement. From our concealed position I could spot the cave that he had previously mentioned.

The light gray stone of the small cliff was ripe with vegetation. Large vines of some kind of foreign plant draped down over a thin rift in the cliff wall like a curtain. It would have been inconspicuous, if not for the nearby barracks and three guards stationed on either side of the small crack.

The six guards were all High Fae. They were clothed in chainmail armor covered by a dark green cloth. In the center of each of their chests was silver cloth in the shape of a large sword. Each of them wore a simple steel helmet, an unceremonious shiny dome that protected the top of their head, but left their face and pointed ears exposed. There was a simple sword strapped at each of their sides and a crossbow slung across their backs.

 _"Stay here, I need to move in closer,"_ he ordered me through our new connection. I nodded in response and strung my bow, testing the familiar draw weight. He slipped off into the trees beyond, moving as quickly and silently as a fox.

I watched and waited as Lysander did whatever magic he needed to do. At this point he had moved far enough away that he had disappeared into the undergrowth.

A minute passed. Then another. Then another.

Soon, at least ten minutes had passed. I was beginning to think that maybe something had gone wrong.

" _Is everything ok?"_ I asked.

 _"Shhh,"_ he hissed.

 _"Alright then, be that way,"_ I thought to myself. More time passed and the bad feeling grew. I was about ready to head out after him, regardless of what he said, before he finally asked me to follow. I walked through the forest and attempted to mimic the same kind of silent movement that he did, but I was only able to recreate a fraction of the stealth that he had achieved.

I came up beside where he was crouched in a bush. Perspiration dripped down his brow and stuck a few strands of hair to his cheek. All humor had vanished from his face, he was completely focused on the sentries. _"There is supposed to be a seventh somewhere, but I can't seem to find them. Ready your bow and advance forward quickly when I say go. We can't wait any longer,"_ he told me. _"I can't maintain the spell."_

 _"They don't look magicked,"_ I commented.

 _"Did I ask for your sass? No."_ I frowned. I hated being talked down to, something that was becoming a habit with Lysander. _"If they were to look magicked then this whole strategy would be mostly pointless if not executed perfectly. Now go!"_ He jumped out of the bush and sprinted down the street towards the opening in the wall. I quickly followed him. I ran with an arrow in between my fingers, my body low, hands ready to fire. I'd already put the leather arm guard on my wrist.

Something brushed against a branch in the forest. Leaves rustled out of time with the wind. I heard the quiet creak of a bow being drawn.

"Duck!" I shouted at him as I bent over. He had already jumped forward and rolled to the ground just as an arrow cut through the air above him. Any later and it would have gone straight into his chest.

Arrows rattled in a quiver. I glanced behind me and spied the source of the noise.

One of the spring court sentries stood in the forest with a crossbow in hand. He had his boot in the stirrup of his crossbow and was cocking the string for another shot. There was no way we were going to make it to the cave in time. This time I knew he wouldn't miss.

I had only a few heart beats to react. Time appeared to slow accordingly. I stopped my mad dash and began to draw back the arrow. I chose my target, his left shoulder. A shot like that wouldn't kill - I didn't want to - but it would buy us time.

I pulled back the bow to its full draw. I saw the shot before it happened. It would pierce through the chainmail vest covering his shoulder, through the cloth and skin, and into the flesh beyond. If he was lucky, it wouldn't strike a bone.

That's not exactly what happened.

When I fired the arrow it hit a solid barrier of magic - a ward - only inches from his body and splintered into a million pieces. It caused the sentry to stagger backwards and drop his weapon, but it wasn't a kill. Despite his survival, I had achieved my real goal and avoided needless pain. I couldn't disagree with an outcome like that.

Lysander dove through the crack in the wall with me on his heels. We tore through thin, dark, and winding tunnels of stone. My growing panic was only offset by the movement of my feet below me. Then, I hit a wall. There was no way through.

Around me the walls started to close in. Beneath the soil and rock I was trapped with no clear escape. The air became thick and hard to breathe. My heart rate skyrocketed as well as my breathing. I was going to die.

"Help!" I screamed.

 _"Get on your hands and knees. Crawl,"_ his words rang through my head. They were calm and solid as bedrock.

I felt along the bottom of the stone wall in front of me and sure enough, there was a small opening. I felt foolish for not thinking of it, but I didn't have the time to dwell on it. I wasn't sure if I could fit my pack through the opening, but I had to. I dropped to my hands and knees and thrust myself through the small opening.

I felt the shift first. My whole body lurched. My eyes screwed up and I nearly collapsed to the ground. I fought through the terror and pulled myself forward one inch at a time.

I don't know when the muddy stone turned damp sand beneath my hands and knees, but it did. I didn't know when the light in the distance appeared, but it did. It gave me enough strength to move on my own.

Moments later I burst out of the exit of the cave to where a few figures stood. I jumped to my feet, a mistake. My legs had all the stability of warm pudding and gave out beneath me. I steadied myself against the cave entrance.

Around the small opening in the side of a hillside the trees were a symphony of regal reds, golden yellows, and rich browns. As the sun lowered in the sky it tinged the clouds a faint pink. Birds chirped their beautiful songs and a stream bubbled energetically. I breathed deeply and tasted the sweet early fall air. It was a perfect and fantastic moment, one I'd never forget.

I was glad to be alive.


	3. Chapter 3: Erin

"Welcome to the Autumn Court," Lysander stated and bowed deeply, waving one hand at the world around us. He casually ran a hand through his hair, wiped the sweat from his brow, and smiled at me. I smiled back, not out of happiness or joy, but a shaky relief.

"You do know that you didn't have to crawl the whole way, right?" One of the guards asked me in a patronizing tone. He was a tall, broad fae with more meat on his chin than the others.

I looked down at myself. Dirt and mud covered the whole front of my body from dragging myself across the ground. Large holes were torn over my knees and the skin below was scraped and a bit bloody. The palms of my hands were no different.

Lysander cocked his head at the guard and told him, "Don't pick fights you can't win Caulan." His tone was dismissive and final. That was supposed to be the end of it. "Nice shot by the way," he said to me.

"What's that supposed to mean? Think I can't fight a little peasant girl like this?" the guard, Caulan, asked. Little peasant girl...I grit my teeth and grabbed an arrow.

One of the ones near him suck in a breath. Lysander gave Caulan an annoyed side eye.

"I'm saying that she'd shoot your eye out before you took a step towards her. Go back to your post," Lysander sternly ordered him. Caulan frowned and turned his hazel gaze to Lysander.

"You're not my superior," he defiantly spoke. Lysander raised his eyebrows high and took a small step towards Caulan. He seemed to transform before my eyes. His back went straight as an arrow and his shoulders broadened. His brows tilted down into a disciplinary scowl. The confidence he'd showed before was now tenfold. One of the other guards grimaced. The other two were already on their way back to their individual spots next to the cave entrance.

"Caulan-" the other guard started. Nobody paid any attention to him.

"Actually, I am," Lysander spoke. His tone was calm, too calm.

"Only in rank, nothing else," Caulan sneered. "You just think you're something because Kendryek favors your pretty face." My jaw dropped. "Just cause he lets you sit as his table doesn't mean you're worth anything to the court." I opened and closed my mouth a few times like a fish gasping for air. It was all I could do to express my absolute disbelief. The other guard swore loudly.

"Cauldron smite you Caulan." He then walked off back to his post, his head shaking with disbelief. Lysander stepped even closer to Caulan. Their chests were almost touching.

Caulan was huge. He was easily a foot taller than Lysander was and had considerably more muscle. It looked as though Caulan could crush him like a bug, but I did not doubt Lysander's abilities.

I nocked my arrow. I raised my weapon slowly, if I could shut this fight down before it started, I would.

 _"Put your bow down,"_ Lysander ordered me. I hesitated.

 _"Are you sure?"_

 _"Put it down."_ I lowered it.

"Do you think you could handle me in a fight, Caulan?" Lysander politely, each word dripping with venom. His face was placid and still. His body was lose, but firm. His right hand was next to his belt of knives.

"I could," Caulan replied, though a small amount of self doubt had crept into his voice. "I could," he repeated, sounding no more sure than the first time he said it.

"Oh really? Is that why you failed basic twice?" Lysander smirked. Caulan faltered. "Is that why you've gotten caught sleeping at your post three times?" Lysander timed each comment perfectly. He left just enough time for the comment to sink in, but not enough for Caulan's thick brain to counter it. The sneer started to melt from Caulan's face. "Is that why the only reason why you didn't get discharged is because you created some sob story about needing to feed your family?" The sneer was now no more than a puddle. Lysander cocked his head and asked, "Because you are my superior?"

Caulan swallowed, but said nothing. A bead of sweat formed on his brow. He blinked repeatedly.

"How is your family doing?" He appeared confused for a second, then he seemed to have an epiphany. His eyes widened with clarity and he opened his mouth wide. "Oh, that's right. You don't have a family. Just more bad habits than Damon had concubines. I'd kept that little fact a secret, but now I think it's a good time to bring it up." Caulan's face broke.

"I'm sorry sir," he cried. "I didn't-"

"Go to your post," Lysander snapped, his voice raising in volume. He jerked a finger at where the other guards stood.

"If I can't-"

"Go to your post!" Lysander roared, the noise coming from deep in his throat and shaking the ground. I almost jumped out of my skin from fright.

Caulan jumped backwards and hurried off back to his position by the cave entrance, sniffling. The guards standing in position flinched. Lysander whirled around and started off down the path. I followed and didn't dare say a word to him.

When we were far away from the portal he relaxed.

"Only a few more miles 'till we reach a good tavern to stay at," he muttered to himself. "Seriously though, nice shot," he said to me. "The Autumn Court could use more archers like you. If you're that good with any other weapons you have a bright future ahead of you." He gave me a sidelong grin. "We can work on your 'following orders' thing later." I didn't feel like laughing.

"I'd be dead if it wasn't for you," I replied. The last sparks of my terror bounced beneath my skin. I shivered. "I guess that I could also be locked up in Fae's Watchtower, but I don't think that would be any better." He made an affirmative noise. "Thank you." I meant it.

"No problem," he said. "Ensuring the comfort of the court's guests is my job and I take it very seriously."

"Nice job with that guard. I was sure I was about to see a brawl, and no offense, but I think it would have been pretty ugly." He gave a tired nod.

"I've kept what I've known about him in my back pocket for a very long time. He was constantly trying to fight me and I knew he'd eventually find a time when he had the advantage. I should have strangled him, broke his ribs, snapped his mind, but I'm too weak. I have to resort to screaming at him like an ape." He grumbled in a low voice.

"Why did he try and usurp your authority?" I reluctantly asked.

"Lots of reasons," he replied. "One, I am essentially powerless, but I've ranted about that enough. Two, I'm a half fae, so he and many others see themselves as above me for nothing but the human in my blood. I could be the son of Gaius Earth-Breaker himself and they still wouldn't give a rat's ass about what I said and who I was." He flailed his hands up in the air in defeat. "Three, Kendryek more or less designed my position so that I do all the least-honorable tasks. Those include, but are not limited to, stealing, managing the court's mail, and seducing members of other courts. To people who aren't trying to get in my pants, I'm somewhat of a joke.

"Four, while Kendryek has seated me at his table, he's placed a pacifistic healer, a glorified tax collector, and the barely-sentient sack of flesh and blood that we call Hadrian above me. I am fifth, the lowest seat possible." He paused. His hands were balled into tight fists. "It's insulting, honestly," he muttered, so quiet that I could barely hear him. He rolled his shoulders and relaxed. "But it's better than nothing," he added with forced brightness. His tone was unconvincing.

* * *

The sun beat down on as we approached his cabin. This would be the second night that I would spend with Lysander. The first night I was too tired to stress about being in a room with an unfamiliar man. Today I was a bit more wary, but I was ready for some well earned rest in a bed that hopefully didn't smell of mouldy hay and sweaty dog, though my hopes were not that high.

The cabin was a simple rectangular building. A metal chimney stuck out from one side of the tall, gray shingled roof. Lysander approached the cabin and waved his hand over the door. I heard a faint click and it unlocked.

"Welcome to my humble abode," he said to me as he held open the door. I stepped inside and took a look around.

Contrary to what I expected, the cabin was very well kept and smelled pleasantly of woodsmoke and spice. Within a spotless living room, two chairs faced an empty fireplace. Above the well-organized kitchen was a small loft that was dominated by a enormous bed. It extended from one edge of the cabin to the other. I didn't understand why any creature needed a bed of such size, even if they frequently shared it.

"You can just leave your stuff over here," he gestured to a spot next to the wall, "and you can sleep on the bench. I apologize for it not being the most comfortable of lodgings, but I wasn't really expecting a guest," he explained. "Usually if I have one, only one bed is required." I set my stuff down where he had directed.

"As long as it doesn't smell, it'll be a major improvement."

Lysander opened up a door at the back of the kitchen area and disappeared. When he returned he held a handful of colorful things that I assumed to be fruits. He threw them on the counter and headed out the front door to get wood for the fire.

"Lunch will be ready soon enough. You can rest." he gestured towards the less used chair. There is a blanket in the chest over there," he said. I thanked him and retrieved it from a chest next to the bench. I curled up underneath it and watched him peel and begin to dice the fruit.

I did not want to sleep near him now that I was in his own home. Here I felt vulnerable, powerless, afraid. I did not want to let my guard down, I was already disadvantaged enough against him. I carefully extracted my hunting knife from my boot and held it in my palm, squeezing it tight enough to hurt my hand every time I felt myself drifting off.

He had done nothing to deserve my fear yet I could not calm my fears. Distant, past events, things I'd tried as hard as I could to blot out and forget, smothered any rational thought.

* * *

I awoke to Lysander tapping me on the shoulder.

"You alive?" he asked. I groggily stared back and waited for my eyes to focus. His hair was damp with river water. He had bathed. He wore nothing but a towel around his waist; his golden tan skin glistened with moisture. I curled my lip and kept my eyes firmly planted on his face. He pressed a cup of water into my hands.

"I couldn't wake you for lunch, so I just let you sleep. It's now dinner time." I chugged the full glass of water in a heartbeat and stood to refill it as he began to climb the ladder to his loft. I shook the fogginess from my head and glanced at his back. My stomach twisted.

It was layered in thin white scars, so thick that in some areas you could not see the skin beneath them. Each one had been inflicted with a sharply barbed whip. Hundreds of them crisscrossed from his shoulders to the top of his pants. The largest of all of them was carved in by something far more destructive than a whip. It was an unnatural black and extended from just below his neck down to his lower back, directly down his spine. I made a strangled noise and moved my eyes to a different, less tortured part of the room.

"I d-don't see any food out, what's for dinner?" I asked to distract myself, though I wasn't feeling very hungry anymore. Did Kendryek give him those scars? I knew that Fae Lords weren't the most kind creatures, but this was something else.

"We're going to town, to a place that I very much enjoy eating at."

We were silent as we journeyed towards town. I was content to admire the surroundings in silence. After a few minutes of trudging through the trees we came upon a well kept cobblestone road. Tall black streetlamps dotted the sides of the road. An odd, orange colored magical ball hovered in each of their ornate globes. Lysander took a right down the road and I followed. We twisted and turned a few times before a town came into view.

The town I'd lived in before was completely and utterly dwarfed by the one that now sprawled out before me. From behind a large stone wall, an assortment of whimsical white stone and dark wood cottages were densely packed along the edge of the cobble road. Red brick chimneys grew up into the sky from triangular, dark gray roofs.

The robust gray brick wall enclosed the entire town. It broke at one point, a large arch that allowed people to travel in and out. Above this arch was the word "Kirkwall" and a drawing of a golden lion's head. Beside it were two dark battlements.

Filling the streets was an uncountable number of fantastical anthropomorphic fae. There were massive, lumbering, and hairy beasts saddled to carts. Around one of these carts, there were goat-like fae with curly horns and hooves instead of feet. Nearby them there were two pixies with paper-thin light green wings drinking from mugs of some sort of hot drink. Along with these humanoid fae, almost amorphous wraiths drifted from place to place, their bodies shaped like fiery red mist.

The High Fae, while not the most interesting, were the most eye catching. They were similar to me, no wings, horns, or any other bonus features. They were just human looking, but with long, pointed ears and cheekbones sharper than an arrow's tip. Power radiated from their unblemished skin like heat from a fire. The more of their power I felt, the more I despised having none.

Every building was well constructed. The white walls shone in the early morning sunlight and passed straight through the clean glass windows. Through the glass panels I could spot various kinds of fae illuminating balls of light and candles within their storefronts. The sheer variety of shops and restaurants was astounding.

"Close your mouth, you'll catch flies," Lysander said as he nudged me. I snapped my mouth shut and grumbled. "Just a forewarning, we're meeting someone at the restaurant." My eyes widened and I started combing my hair with my hands. "Her names Erin and she's the aforementioned pacifistic healer, you'll like her."

She was wrapped up in a set of light blue healer's robes. They rested loosely on her shoulders and flowed down her modest chest to the ground. In the center of her torso was the symbol of the rising sun and from it webbed thin gold strings. They wrapped around her body to her lower back, connecting into one small point above a simple brown belt. There was an odd lump on her back, like she had stuffed something beneath her robes. She smiled and gave me a small wave.  
Two pointy ears peeked out from underneath her gorgeous brown hair. A thin gold band kept her hair from falling onto her rounded face. I had never seen anything as beautiful before. Her golden eyes looked me up and down, scanning for any injury.  
"Hello Allyn, my name is Erin," she spoke softly. She dipped her head in a small bow. I - completely unsure of what to do - imitated her gesture.

"Hello Erin," I replied. I took a seat across from her and next to Lysander. He handed me his menu.

"I already know what I want." He pointed to one of the dishes in the middle. "Don't get that, it'll clean you out faster than a glaistig can clean out a room. Great way to lose a few pounds quickly though," he said. Erin and I made a face. Lysander shrugged. "Just trying to save Allyn from a night of sit-" She cut him off quickly.

"Stop." He chuckled triumphantly.

"Fine, I'll be more careful of your delicate ears." She rolled her eyes and looked at her menu. I looked at mine for a few moments before choosing a delicious sounding roasted pork and buttered greens. Lysander waved down a waitress and we ordered our food.

"How was the trip through the Spring Court?" She asked him.

"Not too bad. Nothing we couldn't handle." She raised her eyebrows knowingly.

"What did you fight? I felt your terror," she said. Lysander's smile evaporated.

"I told you not to do that." All of the warm atmosphere of the restaurant vanished. A waitress set two waters and a wine for Lysander at the table. I thanked her. She ignored me, instead choosing to smile at Erin, the only pure blooded fae at the table. Lysander looked at me. "I have a mental link with everyone who sits at Ken's table, except for Rosalind because she'd throw a tantrum. Due to how the magic works, it's difficult to fully close off. If one concentrates hard enough you can get a basic idea of whatever someone is thinking at the moment. Erin has a bad habit of intentionally taking time out of her day to eavesdrop on me." He drink from his glass. "One that she has chosen not to break."

"I have to know if you're going to come back from a mission with a few scratches, missing an arm, or not at all," she shot back. "I worry about you," she softly added.

I awkwardly inspected the glass my drink came in as they squabbled. It was getting too personal too quickly for my tastes.

"I'm not a child. I'm at least a hundred years older than you."

"You may be older but you act like you're fresh out of your nest." Lysander looked severely unamused. Erin took a deep breath in preparation for what she was about to say. "You don't have to prove yourself to anyone." Lysander eyes darkened. She shook her head. "We're having this conversation out loud." I shrunk back. I really didn't mind if they had this talk through their mental link.

"I'm not trying to prove myself to anyone. Ken has made up his mind, there's nothing I can do it change it." His voice was flat.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lysander looked completely exasperated. "I think you're reading into things too much. He still cares about you," Erin told him. The emotion in her voice betrayed years of conflict. Lysander laughed dryly.

"Sure." He was definitely not sure. "All I did was get spooked in the tunnel. I'm claustrophobic, I believe you already know this," he coldly stated. "No injuries. And we got what we needed, Kalista's Tear. Allyn owned it, hence why she's here in the first place." Erin nodded in understanding.

"Were you were discovered?"

"Yes," Lysander replied.

"Could this mean war?" She asked. I sat up straighter and listened very intently. "You were trespassing after all." He shrugged.

"Don't really know. If it was Gaius, no, but it was Terrin's men who found us. I don't know enough about him to predict his moves." He drained his glass of wine. "Who knows? Nothing we can do but wait."

She looked down at her water and looked distressed. I couldn't imagine what dealing with a war would be like for her, having to tend to hundreds if not thousands of wounded. I sent a quick prayer hoping for peace.

 _"What was that all about?"_ I asked Lysander.

 _"Drama that has festered for a couple decades now. Don't worry about it,"_ he replied.

A different waitress brought us our food and set it down at the table. Lysander got a large piece of a pot pie, Erin got a plate of vegetables, bread, and a strange square shaped lump of an off-white substance covered in a sauce, a meat replacement. My roasted pork was steaming and dripping with juices. The smell it was giving off was heavenly. I barely remembered to put my napkin on my lap before tearing into it.

As I ate, I had a thought. If Erin was a healer, maybe she could identify what was wrong with my grandfather, just to get a bit of closure. I waited for a lapse in Erin and Lysander's conversation before asking her.

"Could you describe the symptoms?" I listed all of them, the seizures, decline in physical health, bursts of anger, loss of memory, etc. She knit her brow in concentration as she mulled over the information.

"Soul rot," she instantly replied. "I know it well."

"What?"

"A rare ailment that only affects those who have had the misfortune of being tortured by a specific spell. The onset takes years to truly start affecting you. There is no known cure, but a fae healer can somewhat ease the symptoms. It does not kill immortals, it will only disable them completely in time, but it will kill mortals." Lysander shifted in his seat and appeared uneasy.

I scoffed and raised my finger.

"One problem, my grandfather has never met any fae," I countered. He'd talked a lot about them, but he'd never journeyed across the border. At least he'd never told me he did.

Lysander broke into a sudden coughing fit. Erin touched his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" she demanded.

"Yep, just swallowed something wrong," he replied in a strained voice. She turned her attention back to me.

"The symptoms line up too perfectly to be anything else. I strongly doubt that it is anything else," she retorted. I decided to make a tactical retreat.

"I suppose I could be wrong…" _But why would he never tell me?_ I asked myself. She had to be mistaken or maybe I gave her the wrong symptoms. "Thank you," I said.

"No need to apologize. I could be wrong as well," she responded, but it was very clear she did not think she was wrong. The waitress cleaned up our table. Lysander threw down a pile of coins, enough for all three of us.

"You know, we should do something sometime," Erin said as we stood from the table. She moved closer to him, reaching out an touching his wrist. "It's been a while." Her voice was soft and filled with a deep wanting, not one driven by sexual desire, but love.

"We just had dinner together," Lysander replied.

"That's not what I meant." Erin sighed, visibly upset. "Nevermind. Have a good night," she said as she walked away. Lysander stared at the ground for a moment, his lips forming a tight line.

In the moment I thought that the tension between Lysander and Erin was as bad as it could get. I would soon learn how tame their odd relationship was compared to others in the court.

* * *

"Sorry about that awkwardness with Erin," he said as he took a seat in one of the chairs in his cabin. I took the other one. The fire was dying out now, the flames logs faintly glowing in the darkness. "She's been like that since I dragged her out of a ditch and brought her here. In her eyes I've always been a hero, the one who cared for her when no one else did." A knife appeared in his hand and he fiddled with it. "Of course I didn't really help things, after I had a falling out with my significant other I used her as a rebound. I was angry, depressed, and bewildered at the time. I felt no real love for her, just a fear of being alone. It is one of my biggest regrets." For the first time I heard sadness and regret tinge his voice. "I want her to move on, forget about it, but she won't. If I could go into the past and change it, I would."

"We all wish we could."

"You've got that right."

I no longer tried to ignore how attractive he looked, taking a moment to admire his gorgeous hair and eyes and his unique scar. He stared into the coals, almost frowning. He looked exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

"Thank you," I murmured, breaking the silence.

"For what?" He asked.

"Saving my life, paying for my dinner, and bringing me here."

"You're welcome. Thank you for bringing me Kalista's Tear and for not shooting me with that bow. It looks particularly painful." I bent over and retrieved her tear from my bag. I held it up in the darkness of the room. It seemed so ordinary, as ordinary as a gemstone could be.

"Do you really think there will be a war?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Will it be bad?" He shrugged again.

"I don't know. Our knowledge of the Spring Court is limited, for now at least. We'll just have to see." He grabbed out at thin air and procured a cup of something that smelled like chocolate. Steam rose from the top of it. My mouth began to water. "Want any?"

"Sure." He threw me his cup and I scrambled to catch it. I braced myself for scalding hot liquid to splash out. None came. Not even the tiniest of drops spilled. More magic. I glared at him as I took a sip. He smirked back at me. I couldn't stay angry.

It was even better than it smelled. The bitterness of the chocolate was perfectly balanced by cream and sugar. It was amazing. "Thank you," I begrudgingly mumbled. Warmth started to spread out from my stomach to my fingers and toes.

"Did you know your parents?" I asked.

"One of them. Did you?" he asked in response. I shook my head.

"I have no memory." I sighed and glanced at him. I was tired of keeping my guard up. I wanted to talk to someone for once, confess some of the thoughts I'd help inside of me for so long. In that moment I forgot that he was a glorified whore and thief, forgot that I barely knew who he was, and let his calming gaze comfort me. "I hope they're still alive…" I trailed off. "I mean," I said. "I don't know."

"What do you mean?" he asked, cocking his head.

"I don't know." I took a deep breath. "What if they don't even know I'm alive? What if…" I trailed off as my words died. My throat was tight and my eyes damp. I hadn't even told my grandfather these fears. I swallowed and tried again. I couldn't keep these bottled up inside of me forever. "What if neither of them wanted me?" He nodded slowly.

"I know how that feels, it's not a good feeling. I'm a half-fae too. I don't know who or what my father was, other than that he was a Highborn Spring Court Fae. High enough to give me many Spring Court powers. Exhibit A." Claws shot out from the spaces in between his knuckles before receding. "In the Autumn Court there is a celebration called Calanmai. It happens on the first of Spring and the whole court gets together to have a big orgy." At the sight of my disgust he said, "I wish I was kidding." He took a long sip of his drink, frowned, and switched it for a glass of wine. "That's better." I could smell its strength from where I sat.

"That's when my father…" he gestured vaguely with his hand. "In the aftermath my mother had two options. Take the contraceptive or be killed. She chose to create her own option, using the chaos of a recent battle to disappear to the one place she could possible hide. The mines. They're essentially self-sustaining towns below the soil and mostly forgotten." He ran his finger down the scar on the side of his face. "That's how I got this. A single straight line under your left eye means you belong to the Trotten mines. I don't hate the scar because I don't choose to let it represent the hell I escaped from. I let it represent the choice my mother made - my life over her own.

"She made a difficult choice, one no mother should ever had to make, and she chose me." He smiled. "And I like to think she chose correctly because here I am, on the outside." I agreed with him. "So if I were you, I wouldn't fear that you weren't wanted. Your mother had to have chosen to have you." I still didn't quite believe him.

"But why would they have left me?" I asked. He shrugged.

"That I don't know for sure. Maybe they were forced to give you up. Maybe she knew she couldn't give you the life you deserved and decided to give you to someone who could. Regardless, you're alive and that's all that matters. I'm glad you are here. I think you should be too." I nodded. He was right about that.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it, we all need a little help every once and while," he casually replied. I glanced outside. The sun had set. The sound of nighttime started to fill the cabin; the chirping of crickets and the distant singing of some fae creature. My eyelids felt heavy and the call of sleep beckoned me.

"I'm going to go to bed now, if that's alright with you."

"It is, you'll need all the rest you can get since Kendryek requested to meet you tomorrow night." My mind went blank and I waited for his contagious chuckle. It didn't come. He got up from his chair and walked towards his office. "If you need me I'll be in my office, working."

"Excuse me!" I exclaimed. "You can't just say something like that then walk away!" He hid a playful smirk.

"What is there to say? He requested to meet you, he's interested to know how you ended up with the tear." A thousand questions flooded my mind. What was I going to wear? What was I going to say? What was…"Don't worry about it, it'll all get sorted out tomorrow. For now just get some rest."

"A-alright. Goodnight Lysander…" I said, trying to calm my now hyperactive mind.

A High Fae Lord. that's who I was going to see tomorrow. A High Fae Lord.


	4. Chapter 4: Date With a High Lord

I woke up slowly and comfortably. The world around me was completely silent, no heartbeats, no breathing except my own, nothing. Lysander was gone.

I glanced up at the open door to the office. I had yet to see inside of it and I felt a strange pull towards it.

"I shouldn't," I muttered as I started to stare at the bottles of ingredients on the shelves. It was probably full of confidential information I shouldn't know.

I glanced at the office again, then at the closed door. I had no idea where he was, when he'd come back. He could be back at any moment and he'd be pissed if he found me in there again. _Maybe just a little peek,_ I thought. I laid my hand on the doorknob and gently opened the door.

The office was as neat and orderly as every other part of his cabin. A detailed map of Prythian draped down from the wall opposite me. A pile of books was stacked on the desk beside a corked inkwell and a fountain pen. A half written letter lay between them, addressed to High Lady Thalia. A bookshelf was behind the desk, full of yet more books. A few notable ones were placed open on the top, their covers for display. One in particular stuck out to me.

 _People of Prythian_ , written by Alexander The Adventurous. At first I could barely believe my eyes.

As I grew older I realized that Alexander, the protagonist of many stores my father told me, was not a real person. He was a fictional character made up by my grandfather so that he could entertain me. At least I thought he was, until I found a book written by him in Lysander's office.

I opened the door farther and surged towards the book, only to freeze in place as I heard the thump of steps approaching the building.

" _It's me. Avert your eyes if you want to, but remember that people have paid good money to see me sweaty and shirtless."_ Did the weird comments ever stop? I dove out of the office, slamming the door shut behind me, and into the bathroom across from it. I waited a few moments for my heart to relax before walking out.

"Good morning. Sorry, I was out training," he said when he saw me. He'd put on a shirt by the time I exited the bathroom.

"Do you say weird shit like that to everyone or only people you're attracted to?" I asked.

"Funny. Sorry, but you're way too young for me. I'd prefer to date fae that aren't still developing." I knit my brows and frowned. I was plenty old. "Come back to me when you're thirty, then we'll talk."

Soon after Lysander took me back into town to look around more before I needed to start getting ready to meet Lord Kendryek.

Lysander told me to leave the cabin and do whatever I wanted until the bell struck fourteen times because he needed silence to work. He gave me only one rule: don't die. In addition he handed me a handful of gold coins to buy myself lunch. I took these blissful few hours of freedom - the only ones I'd get for weeks to come - and spent them exploring the town.

The whole of Kirkwall lay sprawling out before me, begging to be searched.

I intentionally steered myself away from the weapon and armor stores, instead strolling down various streets where houses, each one grander than the last were built. A clear divide could be found between some of the houses. Some bore the stains of time; hundreds of years of sunlight, vegetation, and wear smoothing their white walls, fading their shingles, and cloaking their windows. Others, appearing mainly in clumps, appeared new and unaffected by time.

Along with this peculiarity, the effects of great damage could be spotted in some areas of the town. Fresh bricks surrounded by old, ruins of a building that had yet to be repaired, chunks missing from the stone wall that surrounded the town. If I concentrated hard enough I could almost feel the battle that took place here, see the destruction as it happened.

The idea that more destruction could be brought by my arrival to Prythian made my heart heavy. It was easier to get lost in the beauty of the structures and ignore the possibility of their ruin.

Eventually my wandering feet took me to the town square. It was a large area that was filled to the brim with vendor carts - I had the fortune of coming to Kirkwall during a fair.

One of these vendor carts was located in the town square. The two High Fae who ran it looked polar opposites, as fire is to ice. The girl had long strawberry red hair, a heavy dusting of freckles, and light blue eyes. The man's short white hair was so blond it was almost white. His face was barren of any blemishes and his eyes were a pale gray.

The two worked seamlessly together on making small sweets on sticks. The colors of the sweets ranged from snow white with small dark flecks to fiery reds that seemed to glow in the midday sun.

One rolled a dozen into small balls and tossed them high up in the air only for the other to effortlessly catch them and blast them with small burst of magic and large bursts of ingredients. I watched them for a while. Throughout the whole time, neither of them dropped a single one. The most amazing part of the display was that they were silent, their only form of communication being curt, sensual smiles that they threw each other's way. From the matching rings on their fingers, I knew they were bonded by marriage.

I would later learn from Lysander that they were mates, two beings who shared a deep bond. Some, mainly religious types though it was a popular belief, claimed that mates were chosen by The Mother. This would explain why some mates, like the ones in the town square, truly did seem destined to be together. Lysander, on the other hand, had a lot to say about that notion.

I watched them for some time. Being near others who radiated such a strong happiness made me feel better, but it was a hollow feeling. When I moved on from the town Square I felt, more than ever before, empty and alone in the dark, cold world.

* * *

The warm bath water was doing its best to loosen up all my tight muscles, but it couldn't do anything to ease the knots in my stomach. I didn't know what I was getting into. A small, weak part of me wanted to call it all off and run. Go somewhere else, avoid the stress of dealing with what lay before me.

Lysander had assured me that he was more kind and accepting than any other Fae Lords - as long as you didn't get on his bad side. I trusted him enough to believe what he said. The only problem was I didn't have a baseline for what other Fae Lords were like.

Regardless of what Lord Kendryek was going to be like, I was too interested in meeting him to ever back down.

The servants who were tasked with making me as presentable as possible were very annoyed when I refused to undress in front of them, even going as far as drawing my knife on the one who grabbed my shoulder and tried to pull off my shirt. After that they agreed to leaving me alone to bathe.

The clothes that they'd picked out for me lay just outside the bathroom on the bed. The dress was two shades of blue with a small piece of brown leather around the middle. It was simple, elegant, and conservative. It was perfect. The undergarments were a different story. They were black and needlessly lacey. Why I needed socks that went up to my thighs and connected to the waist with small strips of fabric, I didn't know. I said nothing even though I wasn't a fan of them. I'd pushed far enough already and they looked very comfortable. I didn't think would see them on my body anyways.

Once I was finished getting "all the icky filth" off of myself I summoned one of the servants to start on my hair and makeup. Initially Lysander had offered to do it for me - I couldn't tell if he was joking or not - but apparently someone wanted to talk to him about what he found in the Spring Court.

Unlike the others she was not a Glaistig, a kind of lesser fae that made up the majority of the servants at Kendryek's mansion, but a Winter Court half-fae like I was.

"Hello Allyn, I'm not sure if you caught my name earlier but my name is Tonilia," she said as she strolled towards me. I didn't have time to dwell on the familiarity of that name before she grabbed my shoulders and pushed me into a chair. "Oh this won't do," she muttered as she untied and re-tied the top of my dress. "I am the one who is going to have the pleasure of making sure you look the best that you can be for Lord Kendryek!" She looked at me in the mirror and sighed contentedly. "You look so much better now that you've gotten all that icky filth off of you." That was at least the third time she'd used that phrase. She was right, my hair was the cleanest it'd been in years and my face was positively glowing. That didn't make me appreciate her choice of words any less demeaning.

"Thanks," I muttered through gritted teeth. I would deal with her if it meant looking my best for Kendryek.

"It must be so exciting to come to Prythian and already be this close to meeting a Fae Lord! Oh I remember when I first met Lord Kendryek. It was a long time ago…" She told a lengthy story about how she was working for a royal High Fae in the court before all those she worked for were ruthlessly slaughtered by Ignis during the violent power struggle after High Lord Folius broke up the territory. She had been cleaning their vacation house in the Summer Court at the time of her prior master's death so she was spared. She was picked up by Kendryek while he was trying to get his own court set up.

She went on many long tangents about all the people who she'd served up until this point, none of whom were interesting. Throughout all of her ramblings she completely failed to mention the moment in which she met Lord Kendryek. Apart from a few "mhms", "wows", and "huhs" I was silent. I wasn't able to get any real words in.

She didn't stop talking even when she'd finished brushing and parting my hair, putting on mascara, lipstick, foundation, and blush, and painting all my nails a sky blue. She was now busy re-doing my hair, for the third time. There wasn't a single clock in the room. The seconds stretched into minutes and minutes to hours. For all I knew it had been a week and I'd completely missed the date.

"Lysander has been one of the nicest people who I've taken care of. I don't know why Lord Kendryek doesn't trust him anymore, he hasn't done anything wrong for me. In fact he really helped me…" she trailed off and looked confused for a moment. "Where was I?"

I opened my mouth to remind her. She was finally getting to something interesting, I didn't want her to stop now.

"Oh right, I was talking about Hadrian." No, she wasn't. Not like I could do anything about it. "I don't understand anything about him other than the fact that he's a bloodworker and constantly comes back with bloodstained clothes and gets the mansion so icky. It's horrible, I have to clean them every single time. I understand what he is-" She shivered. "And how he fights, but doesn't he hate how icky and filthy he gets?" I breathed slowly and deliberately out of my nose.

 _Stay calm, you're almost done. Then you'll never have to see this lady again_ , I thought to myself.

A loud knock sounded at the door.

"Who is it?" Tonilia shrilly asked.

"Lysander. It's almost time for us to go down there." I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"It's only six o'clock. You don't need to get there twenty minutes early," Tonilia said. "I'm not quite done with her hair."

" _Please get me out of here,"_ I desperately asked Lysander.

"It'll look better if we get there earlier. Plus, we still have to actually walk all the way there. The dining hall is pretty far away. It's better to play it safe, I'm sure she looks great," he said.

"Oh, all right," she relented as she let me out of the chair. I had my shoes - a pair of dainty blue flats - on and my hand on the doorknob in no time at all. I didn't waste any time getting out of that room and as far away as possible.

"Thank you so much for getting me out of there," I whispered as we headed down the hallway towards the dining room. The walls were papered with a light yellow wallpaper. Countless paintings were hung along the walls, each one just as beautiful and lifelike as the last.

"You're looking a lot better now that all that icky filth is off of you," he said. I groaned.

"If I never have to hear that word ever again it will be too soon," I replied. "How can someone talk so quickly and yet so aimlessly?"

"I don't know, it's a talent that you are born with. You can't learn it. Tonilia is nice, but sometime she needs to take it down a notch."

"Or maybe five." I paused. "She started talking about how nice you are-"

"Aw."

"-and she started saying something about how you helped her, but then stopped." Lysander took a turn into the large entryway of the manion. The enormous glass doors allowed the setting sun to fill the space with red light. It caused the large marble columns to cast shadows across the red entryway carpet. I was way too anxious to admire the cost of the place or the various fae that walked from place to place.

"Well…" he started as he walked through the largest of the archways and towards the back of the mansion. Along the way we walked past walls lined with pedestals. Upon each rested something of value, a broken yet ornate helmet, a beast's skull, flowers that sparkled purple, and countless other objects. "I'll put it this way. The person she worked for before didn't own a vacation house in the Summer Court. I have the ability to edit people's memories. Past trauma is very hard to deal with. I think you can piece it together." I nodded solemnly. I could.

We stepped into a large dining room. It was big enough to seat twenty or more fae with room to spare, but for the moment there was only one small table at the far end. At it were two stools and four chairs. A fire roared behind the seat at the head of the table, the place where Lord Kendryek would sit.

No expense was spared in the creation of his seat. His chair was larger than the rest and carved from oak and dusted with gold. The top and back were covered with red felt. In the center of the back there was the symbol of an falling leaf. A throne fit for a High Fae Lord.

The table was empty save for one black-robed man who sat on one of the two stools. He sat rigidly, his hands folded on the table and his mouth in a curt line. His oily black hair was longer and wavier than my own. A crimson cloth wrapped around his head and his rounded ears, obscuring his eyes from view. The most breathtaking thing about him was also the most apparent; his wings. I was immediately envious. They were huge and blacker than night. Dark talons protruded from the end of each of the batlike bones. If he were to unfurl them they would have engulfed the room. I was completely in awe.

"Hello Allyn," he said in a deep, foreboding voice. I didn't take my eyes off of the man as Lysander led me to my seat next to the head of the table. I was directly across from him and close enough to feel the uneasy aura that he seemed to give off.

"This is Hadrian, the resident bat of the table and the terror of Kirkwall," Lysander said. "But he's really not that bad once you get to know him, especially when you learn that if you tickle him in just the right spot-" Hadrian turned his head to Lysander. Even without being able to see his eyes I could tell it was a glare. Lysander grinned and sat down.

"Hello," I said. Hadrian sniffed the air. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly.

"I can smell the blood on your hands. It may wash off, but it never truly goes away." His nostrils flared. I swallowed. Sweat broke out on my brow. "A man. No older than twenty. How did it feel? To-"

"Hadrian!" A booming voice snapped, jerking me back into reality. Across the table, Hadrian flinched and rubbed a spot on his neck. "Do not scare away our guest." Hadrian chuckled darkly.

"No harm in a few simple questions…" he replied.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and wiped my clammy hands on my dress. My stomach was churning and I needed to steady myself. I knew whose voice that was. I felt their presence, their power.

I was way, way, way, way, way, way, way out of my depth here.

" _Are you okay?"_ Lysander asked me. I steadied my breathing.

" _Yep, just need a second."_ Here he was. A Fae Lord.

The man took a seat at the table.

"Apologies, Allyn." His deep, rich voice was almost hypnotic. "Though I try my hardest, I find that not every wild beast can be tamed." Hadrian laughed again. It was a humorless, merciless laugh.

I couldn't not look anymore.


	5. Chapter 5: Kendryek

He was magnificent, everything I'd imagined and more. Grace mixed with power to form something splendid. His hair was like a flame on his head, wild, red, and uncontrollable. He had a thick layer of freckles that covered his sharp and raised cheekbones. His kind brown eyes regarded me with a slight amount of worry.

This was a High Fae worthy of every ounce of respect that he was given.

"I hope that Hadrian hasn't given you the wrong idea of the kind of people I allow into my inner circle," he said.

"Hadrian is just hamming it up to impress you," Lysander said. "He's usually content to just silently sit there and brood, like this." He hunched his shoulders, glared down at the table, crossed his arms, and frowned. "Except without the eyes." His voice and theatrics were enough to bolster my confidence.

"If that's what he's trying to do, he's going about it the wrong way. Where I'm from the males impress us by picking flowers and arranging them in a bouquet," I said. Both Lysander and Lord Kendryek roared with laughter.

"Now that's a sight, Hadrian picking flowers to impress a suitor. If that ever happens, dear Mother please wake me up because I'm having one hell of a fever dream," Kendryek said. Hadrian wasn't laughing.

"You're not wearing your pearl, Ken," he said. If one wanted to make it _very_ clear that they were unavailable, they would place a ring inlaid with a single pearl on their right thumb. In the mortal lands, a shiny stone bound by wire would suffice. "Are you planning something?"

The room very suddenly became extremely uncomfortable. A few choice looks were exchanged between those at the table. I kept my head down and inspected a winkle in the fabric of the table cover.

"What did I miss?" Erin said as she entered the room. I thanked The Mother for graciously sending someone to relieve the tension at the table. She sat down on the stool beside me. In doing so she turned her body, revealing two white wings speckled with brown feathers. They were pulled tight against her back by two cloth bands. Unlike Hadrian's, they were small, the muscles atrophied. A scar was visible at the top of both wings where feathers no longer grew. The scars were ragged; She had struggled against whoever had maimed her.

Instead of her blue healer's robes she wore a maroon, ankle length dress. It complemented her brown hair and skin well. She tucked her hair behind her ear and eyed Lysander. "I thought we were supposed to dress up," she condescendingly asked, though it was more of a statement than a question.

Lysander looked down at his own green tunic and brown pants - the third pair I'd seen him wear in the last three days.

"At least I didn't come in my pajamas," he said as he gestured towards Hadrian's black robes. Without so much as moving a finger, Hadrian procured a ball of red liquid out of his large goblet and lobbed it at Lysander.

Lysander vanished from his chair and reappeared half a step to the left, dodging the projectile. It hit the chair and dripped down the back. Erin laughed.

I looked at Lord Kendryek to gage his reaction. He looked mildly amused.

"This is the normal kind of foolery that they are usually up to." He gestured at his own clothing, a purple tunic covered in fanciful markings, a white undershirt, a gold belt, and black pants. "This is what I normally wear around my mansion. I like to keep the inner circle meetings more relaxed." His _inner circle_. That's what I was seeing. Lord Kendryek looked at Lysander. "Is Rosalind coming tonight?" Lysander swapped his stained chair with the empty one. Lord Kendryek raised an eyebrow.

"I assume so, but I can't guarantee it."

"That's where Rosalind usually sits." Lord Kendryek pointed at the stained chair. A servant rushed over to wipe it away. "You're seated in Vivianne's chair. She's currently resting after being sent on a mission to keep some more unruly subjects in line," he explained. "Tell them to bring in the food," he said to the servant at the chair. Lysander shook his head.

"Tell them to wait, it's rude to bring out the food before Rosalind arrives. She still has a few minutes to show." Lord Kendryek acted as if he didn't even speak. Soon after the servant had cleaned the chair a door on the side of the room open and a train of dryads walked through. They placed the food at our table. After waiting for the more qualified people at the table to pour their drinks, I poured a glass of wine. I would need something to cool my nerves.

"I recommend you try the Buuz. It is a traditional dish from Vivianne's homeland. She taught the servants how to make it and many other foods," Lord Kendryek told me.

"Where is she from?"

"She is a Vallikan, a race of High Fae who live far, far away. I'd tell you more, but that is all I know. She has shared little from her culture apart from the food." I nodded and smiled. Here I was sitting in front of a Fae Lord and talking about those in his inner circle. Incredible. "I take it you're interested in fae culture, given that you left your home to come to Prythian?" I dished myself up some of the Buuz, along with a bit of stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

"I am." Well, sorta. "When I was younger my grandfather would tell me stories about Prythian, especially ones about Alexander." Kendryek grinned. "Have you heard of him?"

"We used to be good friends before he passed. It is good to hear that his tales have been spread to the mortal lands as well."

Lysander loudly cleared his throat and muttered something that sounded like "Told you so."

At the other end of the room entered in a tall High Fae. She had combed black hair that reached her chest and sparkling purple eyes. In each of her ears were small diamond studs. She was dressed in a black dress that was very similar to Erin's except that it displayed her thin, pierced midriff. She took a seat in the empty chair across from Erin and scooted it as far away from Hadrian as she could. This brought a smirk to Hadrian's face.

She could have been beautiful, gorgeous even, if it wasn't for the extreme resting bitch face. The disdain she had in her eyes when she looked at Lysander made _me_ feel self conscious. Lysander just smiled lazily at her.

"Good evening Rosalind, this is Allyn," Kendryek told me. She looked at me like I was a stain on her dress.

"Hello Allyn. My name is Rosalind," she said before dishing herself up a small portion of roasted turkey and broccoli. She avoided eye contact with everyone else at the table.

"I would like to ask a few questions while we are all here, may I?" Lysander asked.

"You may," Kendryek replied.

"What is the plan for Kalista's tear and the second gift that we have for her? Are we going to present both of them at once or just present the tear and break the news on the second gift?" I was glad to see that I wasn't the only one at the table was confused. Rosalind looked at Erin for explanation. She shrugged and mouthed the words "I don't know." Hadrian looked as disinterested as he could possibly be.

"Present them both at the same time. I see no reason not to."

"I have reason to believe that High Lady Kalista is unwilling to accept the second gift. It is extremely risky to give her both."

"What reason do you have?" Lysander took a drink from his glass of whiskey.

"I believe someone ordered the gift to be burned."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting that she was the one who ordered it to be burned." Kendryek stared blankly at Lysander.

"No mother would…" He shook his head. "What you're saying is ridiculous. This matter is over."

"We must be careful. If I am correct, giving it to her could be-"

"This matter is over!" Lord Kendryek ordered. Lysander stared Lord Kendryek in his eye, an unreadable expression on his face. He then shut his mouth and turned his attention to his food. From the looks on the faces of the others at the table, this wasn't an uncommon occurrence. I started to understand why Lysander was so annoyed by Lord Kendryek's treatment of him.

I went to pick up my fork and knife only to find that they were both on the same side of the plate. I glanced around the table and found that this was a peculiarity unique to my seat.

"Lysander tells me that you're good with a bow. We could use more people like that in our court," he said. "Who did you learn archery from?"

"My grandfather, he had mastered many different weapons." He cut off a large chunk of his steaming turkey leg.

"Where is your grandfather now?"

"He has passed." I took a sip of my wine. It was strong, stronger than mortal wine. I'd need to have far less than I usually did.

"I am sorry for your loss," he said with an empathetic sadness. I half shrugged and looked down at my plate. I didn't want him to feel sorry for me.

"Everyone has their time."

"Not immortals," he replied. I regretted my choice of words. How fae viewed death had to be radically different than in the mortal world. A short silence fell over us as we ate our food. I wondered if he was thinking about his own father.

The Buuz was...interesting. It turned out to be a savory meat filled pouch of some kind of flour outside. It was unlike nothing I'd had before, which made sense considering that it came from a faraway land.

On the other side of the table Lysander was telling Erin about his last trip to the Dawn Court. Apparently he had been their recently. Erin was hanging onto his every word while Hadrian maintained a disinterested expression. Rosalind appeared to be listening to Lysander, but she kept her head cocked towards our end of the table.

"Pardon me for asking-" I smiled, something about a son of one of The Seven saying "pardon me" was hysterical. "Did your grandfather raise you?" I nodded. He swirled his own wine in his glass and looked thoughtful. "Again, excuse me if this is a bit personal, but what happened to your grandfather?" I glanced at the others.

"Some kind of sickness took his life." He nodded solemnly. "Erin said it was soul rot-" he pressed his lips together. "-but I am not sure." He flicked his eyes towards Lysander.

"My condolences." He swirled his wine in his glass again. "My father suffers from soul rot, but we have the best healers in the court working on a cure." He smiled weakly.

He continued to ask me a few questions about my life, allowing me to do the majority of the talking. For the first time in my life I was finally talking to someone who seemed to care about me, who I was, what made me the way I am, what my goals and aspirations were, etc. He listened intently to every word I said like no one ever had before. I didn't want our conversation to end.

"Have you had any romantic partners in the past?" He asked, somewhat out of the blue, with an interested smile. My laughter died in my throat.

"One..." I replied. He didn't press me any further than that and I was grateful.

"I've had a couple, though not any for some time now, despite many people trying." For a second I felt jealous. "My last was Erosa, I am sure Lysander told you?"

There was the sound of a thump on the other end of the table. Rosalind had left some time ago and Hadrian had moved down a seat to arm wrestle Lysander. Lysander just lost. Something Kendryek said had distracted him.

"Left hand?" Lysander asked Hadrian. "I think I stand a better chance against that arm...it gets less use." Erin's mouth twitched as she suppressed a smile.

"So eager to lose again?" Hadrian asked.

"Apologies for Lysander's crudeness," Kendryek told me. "If I had known you were in the court sooner I would have arranged better lodgings for you instead of forcing you to sleep in Lysander's cabin. He did not tell me he had arrived back in the court until late last night." I shrugged dismissively. I enjoyed Lysander's company.

We resumed talking, this time he talked about his past. He was only a few centuries old and was not prepared when his father began to deteriorate and the court with him. He knew though that his brothers were not the leaders that the people of the Autumn Court deserved, so he rose to the challenge.

I started to dread the end of dinner. When the servants brought out a few different pies, I almost shooed them away and told them to come back some other time. Talking to him felt like finding the missing piece of who I was. He made me feel full inside, he softened the void. I had not felt this way about anyone, ever. I wanted to believe it was love at first sight.

But I knew my place. He was a High Fae Lord and I was just some half-fae peasant from buck-ass nowhere, I had no real money to my name, no magic, no power, nothing. High Fae married for power and political gain, not for love. That's what mistresses were for, but I would sooner die than be someone's bed warmer.

At some point I had left to use the restroom. When I returned, I was the only one left.

"Lord Kendryek will return in just a moment," A servant said as they cleaned the table. "The others left to play Kampfball."

The servant was correct. In a moment he was back.

"I have a few things in my room, interesting objects from around Prythian. I think you'd find them interesting. Do you want to come see them?" I giggled and nodded.

He led me through the mansion and to his quarters. The whole walk there felt like a dream. I wasn't sure it was real.

A Fae Lord was taking me to his room.

When he opened the door the chandelier in the center of the room burst with light and the drapes on the windows slid closed, allowing us more privacy. In the center of the neat was a large bed draped in daffodil yellow sheets.

I followed him over to a desk and shelf. On them were a variety of bits and bobbles, small little mechanical objects, sculptures, books, possibly magical artifacts, and more. Thirty one in total. All were neatly sorted and were placed in some a pattern. He picked up a small wooden box with a bent piece of metal sticking out of the side.

He turned the piece of metal many times, placed the box in the palm of his hand, and said, "Shh, listen."

The top of the box opened. A sculpture of a High Fae girl raised out of it. She was strikingly similar to me, white hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. She wore a long blue dress studded with diamonds and matching dancing shoes. She spun on one foot, her other raised behind her. A pair of breathtaking ice-blue wings were raised in the air behind her.

Lord Kendryek smiled sorrowfully as a simple tune began to play.

"I had it made years ago, for a lover I had at the time." I think I could figure out which one. Erosa, Kalista's daughter. He waved his hand over the box and the music got louder. The sounds flowed through the room like a river. The sad look on his face was replaced with a happier one. "But she is in the past. You are here, now." He offered me a hand.

My heart was fluttering like a caged bird. He stood in front of me, taller and intimidating, yet open and inviting. Waves of magical power rolled off of him with each beat of his heart. They crashed into me, filling the void I felt inside.

I accepted his hand. He smiled at me. His eyes were open windows to his soul. I could see inside them, there was no deception, no question, no tricks about what was happening. This was real.

He locked his fingers in with mine and drew me in closer, placing one hand on my waist. I didn't have to fight the urge to run away and flee his touch. There was none.

I rested my hand on his waist. Grandfather had taught me how to dance for fun when I was much, much younger. All of the old lessons came flooding back to me in the first few steps.

We danced as one with the music. We were in tune with each other, our thoughts as one. For one moment I entertained the idea that there may be a deeper connection between us, one hand picked by the Mother herself.

Soon the music began to slow. The melody drew to a close and so did our dance. When we were finished, we did not let go of each other. He drew me into a tighter embrace, then a kiss.

It was my first real kiss in years. I couldn't have had a better one. He placed his hand on my neck and pulled me in for a second one. I reached around to his back and pressed our bodies together, reaching for that warmth and power in him.

He pulled back and panted. I felt his hot breath on my skin. His lips were wet, his cheeks were flushed and burning. His deep brown eyes gazed into mine. He placed his arms around my shoulders, one of his hands played with the knot at the top of my dress.

"May I?" He asked. I giggled and didn't reply, instead opting to lean in for another kiss. I didn't know if I wanted to go that far this soon. He twirled my hair around his finger as he slowly pulled the knot loose.

I didn't protest. I was too mesmerized by his eyes, his heartbeat, his breath, everything. He gently worked the top of my dress loose. In just a few more moments I was slipping it off, letting it fall to the floor.

The chilly air of the room raised bumps on my bare skin. He was an oasis from the cold. He pulled his shirt off, showing me his bare chest. I placed my hand on his chest, feeling every rise and fall of his muscular chest.

I pressed my hips into his, grinding against his body. My own ached, I felt a raw, starving desire for him to take me right now, but I couldn't.

His hands were feathers against my skin as he made his way down to my waist. His fingers caressed my backside. I grew tense and not in a good way. I masked my discomfort with another coi giggle and brushed his hand away. I didn't want to ruin this. He grabbed my upper thigh and lifted me up onto him. I instinctively wrapped my other leg around him, if only to stop myself from falling.

He pushed me up against a wall and pushed his body into mine. A soft moan escaped my lips before it all went wrong.

He was pressing against me too hard, restricting my breathing. With my body stuck between his and the wall I felt trapped, unable to flee. Terrible memories broke their way into my mind, grabbing me with their dark tentacles.

Fear flooded through my veins, freezing my blood. Reality and memories blurred. My eyes snapped open. I focused on who was there in front of me, taking the control of my body and pinning me against the wall. He had short black hair. A well trimmed beard and features that made every other man in town envious. Russet eyes that made women melt. Within them lurked the monster that I saw now.

I flipped.

I slammed my palm into his chest and pushed him away from me. He barely budged. He was so much older and stronger than I was. He kept me pinned in place as he groped me. The only thing I could do was bite. I dug my teeth into his shoulder as hard as I could.

In an instant he dropped me. I landed on my feet and I assumed a fighting stance. The look in my eyes was wild, I was ready to bite, kick, scream, claw, anything to stop that from happening again. I'd killed before and I'd kill again if I had to.

"Allyn!"

That wasn't Oliver's voice. Oliver's lacked the power, the richness. I started to come back to reality. "Allyn!" I focused on that voice, the chill of the air, and the wood beneath my feet. Root yourself in reality. Focus on what's real. I blinked repeatedly.

My vision cleared. Red hair. Concerned brown eyes. A frowning clean shaven face. Freckles. Not Oliver.

Lord Kendryek kept his distance from me. The bite mark on his shoulder was already fading but I could tell it had hurt.

"Are you okay?" I dropped my hands and stood normally. I couldn't describe how horrible I felt in this moment, it was impossible to put the shame into words. I nodded, my throat too tight to speak. Why couldn't I just be normal? Why did I have to ruin this? "What happened?" he asked. He took a tentative step towards me.

"I'm sorry," I managed to squeak out. I took a deep, shaky breath. "It's not your fault." Thank the mother I sounded more normal this time. "I just lost myself for a moment, bad memories." It wasn't a good explanation and I knew it. I just attacked the son of a High Lord. "I'm sorry," I repeated. Normally something like this would mean execution. I would have welcomed it.

"It's okay, I'm made of tougher stuff than most fae," he replied. By the time he finished talking there wasn't a trace of my teeth on his skin. I gave him a weak laugh.

"I can tell." The memories had faded back into the black depths where they'd come from.

The room was so cold without him there. I didn't want it to end, I didn't want to be alone again.

"I promise I won't bite you again," I said. He gave a little half smile before pulling me into his arms. I buried my face in his chest and mumbled "sorry," again. He chuckled.

"It's okay." I felt the words rumble in his chest and I believed him.

He led me to his bed and laid down. I laid beside him, one hand on his chest and our bodies touching. He pulled the sheets over us and kissed me on the forehead.

"Goodnight Allyn."

I was asleep in moments.


	6. Chapter 6: Vivianne

The light was bright, way too bright. I rolled over onto my stomach and buried my face into the pillow. I was almost drifting off to sleep when I heard a feminine voice ask,

"Which robes would you like?" Her voice grated on my ears and I covered them with the pillow.

"The red ones," a deep, rumbling voice replied. It was much nicer to listen to. I wondered who it belonged to.

Wait.

I pulled my face out of the pillow and looked around the room to see a few female servants walking from place to place, packing clothes into suitcases. Lord Kendryek was standing off to the side, observing the process. He wore a light red silk tunic and brown pants. The sleeves were short enough to show off the bulky muscles I hadn't fully appreciated last night. His fiery red hair was combed into a homogenous wave and he wore two small gold studs in each ear. His freckles were almost glowing. He was stunning.

I snatched at the covers and pulled them over the exposed parts of my body. The sounds of my scramble alerted Lord Kendryek to me.

"Good morning Allyn," he said. "I decided to let you sleep in, you had a busy day yesterday and I thought you deserve the rest." It felt like my head was imploding. I pinched my leg to make sure I wasn't in some kind of absurd dream. "I regret to inform you that I must visit The Forest House to celebrate his two thousand and thirty second birthday. I would spend more time with you today, but it is too late to work you into the plans for the visit and this cannot be rescheduled. I will be back by no later than tomorrow night."

It took me a few moments to get any words out.

"Th-that's okay." That was perfectly okay. That was completely and one hundred percent okay.

"Vivianne will assess your fighting skills at twelve today, but other than that you are free to do whatever you please." He waved his hand at Tonilia. "If you need anything, feel free to ask the servants to get it for you." Tonilia gave me a little knowing smile, like she'd seen this coming a mile away, and nodded.

"Thank you," I said.

"We already have plans to visit the Winter Court in order to deliver Kalista's Tear to her." Lysander ran off with it at some point yesterday. "It will not be difficult to add you to the plans that we already have in place, assuming you would like to go."

"I would, thank you," I said. I could have thanked him a hundred times.

He got up from his chair and walked to the door. The two other servants held it open for him.

"I'm afraid it is time for us to leave now. Tonilia will fill you in on the details surrounding your assessment. I will see you again in just a few days. Goodbye Allyn," he said.

"Goodbye Lord Kendryek," I replied. He smiled warmly.

"Just call me Ken," he told me before leaving.

As soon as he was gone, Tonilia turned to me, grinning from ear to ear.

"How was it?" So much for never having to see her again.

"What?"

"Spending the night with Lord Kendryek?" I reddened.

"That's private," I said. I didn't even want to think about that beautiful disaster. She waved her hand dismissively.

"We're two girls, you can go ahead and tell me." I started to get the idea that even though she was easily a few hundred years old, she never matured past the age of twenty. I shook my head. "Fine. You'll be meeting with Vivianne in the training yard at three. I'll start getting you ready, starting with helping you bathe. I'm sure you got very ick-" I really did not want to hear the end of this sentence.

"I'm good thanks. I can bathe myself, I did it yesterday," I quickly said, cutting her off. She glared at me.

"I don't understand why you're so against us helping you. We're here for your ease and care after all," she said, sounding extremely annoyed and hurt. I thought back to what Lysander said about her and her past.

"I'm just not used to it, I'm sorry." She shook her head.

"You don't have to be sorry!"

"Oh-kay…" I said. I really didn't understand this woman. "I'd really prefer to be alone when I bathe. You can pick me out something to wear if you'd like." Hopefully that would make her stop obsessing over my every move.

"Oh I'd love to!" she said brightly.

I spent as much time in that bath as I could. I vainly hoped that if I took too long, Tonilia would get bored and go do something else.

"Miss, are you still alive? It has been an hour and a half." Miss? Since when?

"Yea, I'm just finishing up," I lied. I had been done cleaning every inch of my body as thoroughly as I could an hour ago. All I needed to do now was just dry off, which I took my sweet time in doing.

I put on a robe, ensured that it was well secured, and walked out of the room to see what she picked out for me to wear. On a mannequin was a buttery yellow dress that was almost as wide as I was tall.

"Tonilia?" I asked.

"Do you like it?"

"Please don't take this the wrong way."

"I won't."

"How the hell and I supposed to be physically assessed in something that I won't be able to sit down in?" She opened and closed her mouth, forming a few silent words. Her brows knit together - anger or confusion I couldn't tell - before relaxing.

"I'm sorry miss, I thought it would look really pretty on you..."

"I'm sure it would, but can you please pick out something a bit more practical?"

After she found two more dresses, each only slightly more agile than the one before it, I took matters into my own hands, went into the closet, and found a plethora of dresses, skirts, and gowns. There was nothing for a lady to train or fight in. I was seriously considering just taking one of Kendryek's pairs of pants when Tonilia finally relented and left to go get something from a different room.

After spending at least an hour trying to find a pair of clothes, she started on my hair. Thankfully it did not take long.

"It looks great!" I said. I wasn't lying. The part in my snow white hair was crisp, but she still managed to give it a messy look. I loved it. "Thank you." I got out of the chair. "When am I supposed to be assessed?"

Her mouth fell open and she rushed into the bedroom to look at a clock.

"In fifteen minutes!"

* * *

I'd ran to the training grounds as fast as possible. They were four fields, one dedicated to archery, one dedicated to some kind of obstacle course, one to an arena, and one to a bunch of training dummies. There was a group of soldiers on the training dummy field. Nearby them there were two fae, one male and one female. I approached them, bracing myself for the worst.

I instantly knew she was the person I was waiting for. She couldn't have looked more like someone from a foreign land.

She had only one leg, one arm, and one eye. An intricately carved ivory leg peaked out from below her dress and there was a piece of porcelain covering her right eye. A violet was painted onto the center, where her eye would have been. She wore a flower patterned red dress. It folded over her chest and the edges were lined by rows of black. At her waist hung a thin, curved sword. Her long black hair was held back by a red cloth.

Out of all of the things, her face was the most different. Her skin was a darker tone than mine and a slightly different color. Her remaining brown eye was squinted and slanted slightly. A faint layer of pink blush accentuated her cheekbones. She was undeniably attractive, but not in a way that I was accustomed to.

She strode towards the fae that were training. I got up from where I sat and walked towards her. As I approached I drew the attention of a fthe other fae. They had now formed rows to stand at attention. Vivianne did not look at me before stating,

"Allyn, good. You're here, albeit late. You may stand over there, next to the rest of the trainees." I did as I was told, dropping into line beside one of the many armored fae. It was hard to tell what kind they were or what they looked like as each and every one of them was covered from head to toe in steel plate armor. The only way I was able to discern their gender was by the grunts they were making when they practiced.

I was under-armored, under-weaponed, and one of only two women. The only way I could have felt more exposed was if I was naked.

"I take it that Gilan has ran you all through your warm ups today?" She asked. I took it that Gilan was the red haired, bulky High Fae who was directing the others.

"Yes mam!" They replied in unison. I didn't say anything, I didn't know what the hell was going on. I did not know what I expected but this was not it.

"Good. Display form three. I demand perfect precision out of all of you." They all took up positions in front of practice dummies, drew their weapons - steel swords of extreme quality - and began practicing a set of moves in near-perfect unison. I didn't move. I didn't have a weapon, I didn't have anything to practice with. With each passing second my face became redder. Vivianne took notice of this and approached me.

"Do you think you're too good to train like the rest of them?" I shook my head.

"I wasn't told to bring anything." I was barely told anything really. All I was given was a time and a location.

"Do you think that excuse will work on an attacking enemy?" She asked with a very patronizing tone. I knew I couldn't open my mouth without saying something rude. "Do you?" She pressed. I shook my head. She took a step towards me. "Speak."

"I don't own a sword, I have no way of purchasing one." I supposed I could have asked a servant for one. But how was I supposed to know to do that? "Besides, what are the chances of being attacked by an enemy this deep into Lord Kendryek's territory?" Not even a flicker of emotion crossed her face. She formed a claw with her remaining hand.

A bolt of red hot lightning coursed through my body, filling every pore with excruciating pain. The blood in my veins felt like it was boiling. I let out a strained cry of pain and fell face first onto the ground.

"Much higher than you think," She replied with a slight smirk. The meaning was clear. She threw a sword at my feet. "Stand. Fight me. You must be able to justify your own arrogance."

I grabbed that sword and leapt to my feet. Cold rage turned my body to ice. My hand shook as I held the weapon. I wanted nothing more than to drive it directly into her remaining eye.

It was a thinner, shorter sword like the ones I was accustomed to wielding. I held it in one hand and assumed a strong stance, my feet a shoulder width apart. Normally I held a dagger or a parrying knife in my off hand, but I could not easily access one. She too dropped into a more ready stance that compensated for her disabilities. She took small, conservative steps towards me. I backed away.

I noticed that there was an unevenness to them that left her unbalanced and less able to strike back. This was surely brought on by her ivory leg. It was a weakness, one that I could exploit.

As I backed away, I formulated my plan. I imagined how it would play out to the finest details. I would dive forward, timing it perfectly as to catch her in the middle of her uneven step and cause her to become more unbalanced, driving the-

 _Wrong,_ I suddenly thought. No, that wouldn't work. This was Vivianne, second in command of Lord Kendryek's court. This wasn't some old city guard with a bad leg. There was no way she'd have a weakness this obvious, this exploitable. It had to be a trick.

"Stop running from her, fight!" Gilan shouted at me. I ignored him, he was only a distraction from my goal. I _was_ going to beat Vivianne.

But how?

There was no way that I could out duel her in the current situation. She was more experienced, both in general and with the blade that she held, and far stronger. Additionally, she was guaranteed to have wards, something a powerless half-fae like I was did not have.

" _Can you give me something?"_ I asked Lysander.

" _Like, hand it to you? Sure, why?"_ he replied almost instantly.

She grunted from frustration and dived towards me. There was a sharp _SHING_ as our blades deflected off of each other. She pressed the attack, forcing me to jump backwards and out of her way. She fell back into her regular, uneven gait. There was definitely a discrepancy between how she fought and how she walked. She was toying with me.

" _Knife. Give me your knife. As soon as I take my hand off my sword,"_ I demanded Lysander. He recognized the situation and did not ask any more questions.

" _Gotcha."_

I stopped backing up, allowing her to get into range of me. Our blades struck each others lightly, each more of a test of each other's skill than a true attack. A few shouts of triumph from the onlookers drowned out the clash of metal. She kept me at range, close enough for our blades to touch but nothing more. She was looking to disarm. I was looking to win, at any cost.

There was no point in letting the battle go on any longer. I leapt forward and jabbed in such a way that she would be forced to deflect it to the side, leaving her stomach open to a counterattack. I took my hand off of my sword. If I failed, I was done.

" _NOW!"_

I felt the weight of my knife settle in my hand as I drove it towards her abdomen. Too late she realized what I'd done. The tip of the blue dagger punched through the barrier surrounding her body and into her stomach, just below her bottomost rib.

Pain burst into her eyes the second it broke the skin. I didn't have a moment to celebrate my victory. She tensed her free hand in the same way she had before. She called that red lightning onto me again. This time it was worse, much worse.

The pain was so great that time stretched into eternity. I knew nothing, thought nothing, felt nothing, and saw nothing but that electric fire that burned in my body. Then it all went black.


	7. Chapter 7: Terrin

"What the hell did you do?"

I snapped awake. I felt no pain, in fact I felt very refreshed. I lay on one of many beds in a large room. A curtain was folded up at one edge of each bed. The weak light coming in through the tall windows was supplemented by faelight. Lysander and Erin stood beside a pale looking Vivianne, who lay on another bed. Her dress had folded to one side, revealing more of her prosthetic leg. The ivory at the bottom was attached to a complex set of gears and springs that appeared to be powered by magic.

"I did what I had to do. I cannot have some nobody peasant beating me in a fight, even if they did cheat," Vivianne replied evenly, her voice had a stronger accent to it now. She gave Lysander a glare. "A commander walks a much thinner line than a whore does." Her voice was flat. The statement was not intended to be hurtful, but that didn't make it less sharp.

I sat up in bed and looked at the others. There was a hole in Vivianne's dress. Blood soaked the fabric around it. I wasn't proud of the satisfaction it gave me.

"Hello Allyn, how do you feel?" Erin asked me with an assuring smile.

"Good."

"Any uncontrollable twitches or painful breathing?" I shook my head. "Good." She turned around and started writing notes down at a desk.

"I apologize if I went slightly overboard, but I did what I had to do." She paused. "Your swordsmanship was commendable, but you cannot rely on Lysander to cheat your way to victory." She sat completely still and showed no emotion. It was unnerving.

"I don't understand why you needed to knock her unconscious though," Lysander said.

"I believe I've already explained this to you. Where I come from we do not pamper our soldiers like you do here." Lysander scoffed.

"When Ken comes back and learns that you fried his new...partner...you'll see how well we pamper our soldiers. If you're lucky, you'll just end up with a restrictor charm like Hadrian." Vivianne's stoic outside cracked. Her eyebrows raised in worry as she raised her voice.

"If you are finished attacking me for how I choose to teach those I am training, I have a task for Allyn to complete." She began to address me. "I hid the sword Lord Kendryek gifted you in the forest, it is your job to find it." She slid her eye towards Lysander. "Without any extra help." Erin suddenly looked up from her desk and said,

"Absolutely not! Both of you need rest!" She strode out from behind the desk and stood rigidly, like she was ready to physically confine either of us in our beds. I was still fuming from the fight and desperate to prove myself to the rest of them. I wanted to show them I was not weak, that I didn't need Lysander to cheat me to a victory, that I was more than just a half-fae peasant.

"Erin, it's okay. I feel fine, better than usual thanks to your healing. I can do this," I said. There was a magical hum to my words. When I heard it I almost yelped. No one else noticed this, except maybe Lysander; whose face flickered when I began to speak. Erin relaxed, her glare dissipating and her shoulders dropping.

"Are you sure? There are dangerous creatures out there."

"Yes. I can handle whatever the forest throws at me," I replied. She dipped her head in my direction.

"Okay, I trust you. Just be careful." I looked to Lysander.

"My bow is in your cabin," I said. The hum was gone. He nodded and pulled both the bow and the quiver out of thin air. I thanked him. "Where is the sword?" I was determined to excel at whatever task Vivianne gave me. She pulled a small ring out of her pocket. It was a simple silver band with a rune etched into the inside. I took it and placed it on my right middle finger.

"It will grow warmer the closer to get to it until the bell strikes five times. If you do not find it before then, you fail. You must hurry to find it." I nodded in understanding. Just as she finished talking the bell rang out four times. That only gave me three hours; I would need to hurry.

"Good luck," Lysander told me.

"Be careful," Erin said.

Vivianne said nothing. I bid them farewell and left the mansion.

My first step in finding the location of the sword was to walk in a large X shape in town, paying close attention to the temperature of the ring. Using that I could find the general direction that I needed to walk in.

My plan worked well. When I approached the gate that led towards Lysander's cabin it began to heat up. When I walked in the direction opposite the restaurant I'd met Erin at it heated up again. I exited the town and started diagonally through the forest.

I let all of my old hunting instincts kick in, tuning in my ears to all of the smallest forest sounds. The world around me grew darker with each step as the leaves closed in above me, trapping me below their thick canopy. It was quiet, too quiet. No birds chirped, no animals rustled in the undergrowth. The only sound of was the winds in the trees. The silence was suffocating

I started becoming jumpier than I normally did. All I could think about was all of the deadly fae that had targeted Alexander in his stories. Everything from ancient forest golems to mercenaries from the Night Court wanted to see his head crushed, put on a spike, or just simply lifeless. My only comfort was the silver band's growing heat.

Eventually it got to the point in which it was warmer than my own skin and still heating up. I picked up my pace. I continued my path forward until the ring was so hot that I had to take it off and put it in my pocket.

 _Crack_

A twig snapped in front of me. I froze and pulled an ash arrow from my quiver - one that Lysander must have put in it. I knocked the arrow and aimed it at the source of the noise.

"H-hello?" A male voice said. The sound made me feel nostalgic for a time when I was young. "Allyn, is that really you?" They stepped out from behind a tree.

He was a tall, High Fae male with short white hair and eyes as blue as my own. He had a small nose and chin, just like me. He wore simple blue robes and had a pack on his back. "I've been searching for you," he said.

It was my father. I couldn't believe my eyes.

"I'm sorry I had to leave you," he said sorrowfully. "Times were not good, your mother and I could not support you. You would have been taken as payment of my debts." My eyes grew damp. I stepped towards him. "I gave you to an old friend of mine. I knew I could trust him." I was within an arm's length of him now. "I have missed you every day of my waking life." A tear rolled down his cheek.

 _Something isn't right,_ a voice in the back of my head said. _Something isn't right._

Did I really think it was going to be that easy? Did I really think I was just going to waltz into the forest and find my parents? No.

I drew my bow, grabbing the ash arrow out of my bag and knocking the string.

"Who are you," I wasn't asking him, I was asking myself. I raced to clear my head, something about this creature's magic was making my head feel like fog.

"Allyn!" the creature shouted, its voice raising in volume as it realized I was slipping from its grasp. "I am your father!"

I wanted to believe it, to finally find my parents after all this time. I didn't want to be alone anymore.

 _Are you sure it's really not him?_ I thought.

I lowered my bow, the creature relaxed.

Then I saw it. Eddies wrapping around a figure. Waves emanating from a rock dropped into water. The curls of smoke in wind. A spell warping the physical world around it. A glamour.

 _Twung_

 _Thunk_

The beast let lose an unearthly howl that send my hair standing on end and shivers racing up and down my spine. It exploded into a flash of magical light. I squeezed my eyes shut and covered them with my free arm.

Then it was gone.

I fell down to my knees. I needed a moment, maybe a lot of moments, to steady myself. I'd come within a hair's breadth of dying alone in the forest, devoured by a monster. Killed by my own foolishness.

A Puca. That's what it was. They would take the form of whatever you truly desired to lure you to your death. Grandfather had warned me about them some time ago.

My ash arrow was gone, probably destroyed in the explosion created by the creatures death. I stopped searching for it after only a moment or two. I needed to press on to find this sword. I refused to let Vivianne get the better of me.

I resumed my prior path. I took much greater care in my approach. Any other fae beasts could have been attracted by the death cry of the Puca and this time I didn't have an ash arrow. At best I could hope to maim them before running for my dear life and calling to Lysander for help.

Not far from where I found the Puca was an opaque white wall was built on the trees before me. It was made out of a revolting, sticky looking substance that was littered with the bones of various unfortunate animals. A handful of partially digested cow corpses were stuck in in it. One side had a small tear in it, left open by whatever creature had exited. It had to be the Puca's nest.

I touched the ring with one finger; it burned my skin. The sword had to be here.

It was. It was not an extravagant sword, it was no more than a piece of steel with a cross guard and a bit of leather. It was stabbed into the lifeless body of some unfortunate fae. It's gender, type, and court was impossible to tell, the decomposition had already claimed any defining features. It was no more than a roughly humanoid brown lump. I stepped towards it, murmuring a silent prayer.

"Cauldron save you. Mother hold you. Pass through the gates, and smell that immortal land of milk and honey. Fear no evil. Feel no pain. Go, and enter eternity." I wrenched the sword from its chest; it pulled out with a sickening slorp. The brittle exterior of the body cracked away. A wave of brown liquid flowed out and onto the forest floor. The smell was unimaginably horrible.

I retched - there was nothing in my stomach to throw up - before sprinting out of the nest. I didn't stop until I'd put a lot of distance between me and that wretched place. I leaned against a tree, spitting the taste of bile from my mouth and trying to stop my stomach from spinning.

I was never going to forgive Vivianne for today.

Someone, no some _thing_ cleared its throat. I looked up.

The largest bear I had ever seen stood before me. Each paw was the size of a tree's trunk, each claw put my sword to shame. The antlers that grew from it's head were sharpened to a point. It could have impaled me with ease if it so wished. Every inch of its body was covered in a brown fur so dense that it would have stopped an arrow. It eyed me with calm, verdant green eyes. There was no malice, no hunger, no aggression in them, only stone.

Instinct kicked in as I dropped the sword, grabbed my bow and an arrow, and accessed the bond to call Lysander for help.

The beast opened it's maw - it was filled with knife-sharp teeth longer than than my index finger - and roared. The ground quaked, leaves fell from the shaking trees, and the forest around me recoiled in terror. The sound rattled the core of my being and paralyzed me. I could not think enough to call Lysander for help, let alone draw the string.

In a flash the beast was gone. In its place stood a familiar looking High Fae man dressed in an exquisite green tunic. The forest around him immediately bent to his will; green grass spring up as his feet, the sun shone brighter where he stood, and the trees seemed to bow to him. The aura of power that surrounded him dwarfed everything else.

A short beard grew from his face. It complimented his wave of golden hair. He had the same intelligent, knowing look that Lysander had to him but none of the warmth or friendliness. Determination and power was built into every feature of his face, from his sharp jaw to his high cheekbones. The sheer determination in his eyes grew as he looked at me. He gave me an emotionless imitation of a smile.

"Good evening Allyn," he said in a softer voice than I expected. "I am Terrin, High Lord of the Spring Court. You are my mate."


	8. Chapter 8: A Short Meeting

"I cannot stay here long, so we must meet again another time. There is a Gathering of the High Lords in two month's time. I _will_ see you there." He took a step closer towards me, outstretching one hand towards my cheek. I couldn't think enough to pull away.

His hand was mild, neither cold nor hot. My skin prickled uncomfortably where his met mine. My muscles in my legs twitched as the urge to flee increased, but I couldn't. I could barely move my eyebrows to scowl at him.

He took another step closer to me. Nausea started to rise in my stomach and old memories flitted through my mind. I had no hope of fighting back.

"I have spent many years waiting for you, imagining what you would look like. Still, you are more beautiful than I ever dreamt." His nostrils flared as he took in my scent. The romanticism that he was clearly trying to exude was warped by the his inherent soullessness.

The spell broke.

I smacked his hand out of the way and sprang away from him.

"Go to hell." I expected him to become enraged, to attack me. He didn't.

He pursed his lips, allowed his arms to fall to his sides, and continued to stare at me.

"You may not feel the bond today, or tomorrow, or a week from now. I don't feel it yet, but I will." The sureness in his voice was unshakable. "And when I will, I will have you. Willingly or unwillingly." He turned his head away from me for the first time, cocking it to the side and listening closely. Terrin looked back at me, staring me dead in the eye. "The mother chose you as my mate. I will have you."

 _The Mother chose you as my mate, I will have you._ The words burned in my mind.

He vanished and as soon as he disappeared, a bolt of red lightning struck the ground where he stood. The force of the strike felt like a punch to the chest and my ears rang like a town bell, but I was glad he was gone.

I took a few moments to steady myself, letting the insanity of the situation settle.

" _Meeting in Dining Hall, now."_ Lysander's statement cut through all the thoughts in my head. No doubt that I was going to be at the center of that meeting.

What the hell was I going to do?

I was squeezed in at the head of the table beside Kendryek. He was wearing robes, ones that couldn't have screamed "I am the son of a High Lord" any louder without growing lungs and a voice box. They were primarily a dark, bloody red with a white ermine fur section near the neck. Along the edges there were gold pattern. A simple crown - a gold band with a ruby in the front - lay crooked on his head.

He looked indifferent to the situation - his mouth a thin line, his brows at rest, and his eyes blank, but I could tell it was just a mask to hide how tired he was. He had returned to the mansion no more than fifteen minutes after I left to search for the blade. He wasn't supposed to be back this early; something must have happened to send him home.

Hadrian was the only one missing from the group as he was out patrolling the border, looking for Terrin. Vivianne looked as plain as ever, Lysander had rested his head on one hand and closed his eyes, and Rosalind and Erin matched each other's worried looks.

The table I had sat at the night before had been extended to fill much more of the room. A handful of fae, both High and lesser, had taken their seats. Most of them sat beyond a line drawn on the table. This line separated those who could speak their mind freely and those who could not. All of the lesser fae, save for those that were in the inner circle, were on the other side of the line.

The contrast between the dimmed faelights and the roaring fire cast eerie shadows along the floor and walls of the room. Except for a red tablecloth, the table was bare. There was no semblance of the carefree, almost party-like atmosphere that there was yesterday. Today was all business.

A handful of fae filed in the door and found their spots at the table. One of them was the Gilan, the instructor from earlier in the day. It felt like I'd first seen him years ago. He gave me a curt and respectful nod; through battle I'd proven myself to him. I looked around at the strangers at the table, meeting their questioning stares and frowns. I would need to prove myself to them too.

But how? At the moment my throat was so tight that breathing was a struggle, let alone explaining what had happened. What would I say? Did I tell them that we were mated?

Lysander's eyes snapped open.

"I believe everyone is here," he said casually, looking directly at Kendryek.

Kendryek nodded at Vivianne who began to speak.

"At approximately seventeen and a quarter, Allyn claims to have seen the son of High Lord Gaius, Terrin." The shadows that danced across her sole eye gave her an ominous appearance. "We must first discuss the validity of this claim." Lysander rolled his eyes.

"Her claims are valid. I heard his Roar, you heard his Roar, Hadrian heard his Roar, Kendryek heard his Roar...Half of Prythian heard his roar!" He exclaimed. A Roar that rendered me completely incapable of doing anything. A few heads at the table nodded in agreement. Kendryek was silent. "Can we please move onto something more productive?" A muscle feathered in Vivanne's jaw. For a moment she was silent.

"Allyn claims to have spoken with Terrin, or at least a Projection of him." A Projection was essentially duplicating an object using magic and being able to use it as a conduit for magic. It was a rare and extremely powerful gift, but it explained how Terrin got into the court. It was a power that had tricked Alexander once. "Allyn, what did you two speak about?"

"He…" I struggled to bring the rest of the sentence to words. Hearing it out loud would make it so much worse, I would have preferred to have just never brought it up again.

"What did you two speak about?" Vivianne repeated with a twinge of exasperation. I looked around the table, searching for help. I didn't know if I could do this alone.

I met eyes with Kendryek. He gave me an almost imperceptible nod. It was enough for me. I had to do this.

"He told me that I would see him again at the Gathering in two months."

"Does he mean the Meeting?" Vivianne interjected. Her constant interruptions were beginning to get on my nerves.

"They call it The Gathering in the Spring Court," Lysander replied. He waved in my direction. "Please continue." I swallowed.

"He said we were mates." A handful of fae gasped, but no one immediately said anything. Vivianne blinked once. Her single eye bored into mine, ripping me apart and examining every piece of me. It was unnerving.

"Are you sure heard him correctly?" She questioned.

"Yes," my voice faltered. No, I knew this to be true. I raised my chin and met eyes with everyone else at the table. "Yes. He said we were mates." I could tell that no one on either side of the line believed me. Kendryek's face didn't change from that almost vacant expression. I continued to speak. "He was adamant that-"

"Do you have any proof of this?" Vivianne demanded. Anger overtook my anxiety. I clasped my hands together and set them on the table, if only to stop them from balling into fists. I chose my next words carefully.

"I would prefer it if you were to stop interrupting me after I say more than one sentence. Am I not here to tell you what happened?" Her throat bobbed, but her mouth didn't move. I glanced at Lysander, who was struggling to contain a grin. "Whether you choose to believe me or not, it happened. I can tell you exactly what he said, word for word. 'The mother chose you as my mate. I will have you.'"

No one at the table verbally disputed what I said, but no one appeared to openly agree. That was understandable. Why would our Mother put a High Lord's son with a half-fae peasant?

"May I reply to you?" She asked in a very patronizing tone. I took it in stride, using her thinly veiled insult to assert myself over her. If she wanted to butt heads, we would. I gave her a polite smile.

"You may. Thank you for asking." Vivianne pressed her lips so tightly together they nearly disappeared. Her eyes, once stern, turned to cold malice. I realized I may have pushed her too far. Erin and Rosalind exchanged wide eyed looks.

"I am unfamiliar with Prythian fae and their 'mates' but I find it hard to believe that the son of the most powerful High Lord to ever grace this planet is mated to...you." I didn't disagree with what Vivianne was saying. I didn't know either.

"It is not unheard of. There have been accounts of High Lords mated to humans," Kendryek spoke for the first time that night. His voice was deep, calm. "I believe her." The affection I felt for him surged. Vivianne appeared miffed and looked to her left for support.

"Assuming she is telling the truth, what will we do? I am not sure about the rest of you, but I would prefer to not stand in between Allyn and Terrin. If they are mated, the Mother wills it. Who are we to keep them apart?" Many nodded their heads in support of what they said. Vivianne carried on. "How adamant was he that he would have you?" she asked. I faltered. I knew where she was going with this and I wasn't happy about it.

"He seemed very determined."

"Like he would start a war?" I didn't move. Vivianne started to say something else, Erin cut her off.

"Allyn?" Erin started. "Did you feel a bond?" she asked. I shook my head.

"That doesn't mean anything. My wife did not feel our bond until a year into our marriage," said one of the few High Fae on the right side of the line. He had a longer, pointed nose, and small ears. His eyes were as blue as a clouded sky, his hair a dark auburn and pulled into a single braid. His words didn't sit well with me. Erin gave him a disapproving look.

"Let me rephrase my question," Erin said. "Do you _want_ to be with Terrin?" Was it even a question?

"No," I instantly replied. "I'd rather eat lead."

"Are you trying to tell me that you know better than The Mother?" Vivianne demanded.

Erin looked at Vivianne, a silent plea behind her eyes. Vivianne shifted uncomfortably and turned away, letting the question die. Erin puffed air out of her nostrils.

"It appears then, that we are at an impasse," Lysander began. "On one hand, you have the interests of the court," he gestured towards Vivianne. "And on the other you have the interests of the individual." He gestured towards me. I could tell from the body language of many of the fae what side they were on. It wasn't mine.

I started to feel my life slip away from me.

Kendryek had not stirred since his last comment. He rested his chin on one hand and stared at the middle of the table, appearing to be deep in thought. Lyander carried on.

"I advise against giving in to Terrin's demands. Allyn, whether you like it or not," he gave Vivianne a bit of side eye. "Is part of the court now. She's been seen with Kendryek, she's sitting at the head of this table, she succeeded in two of Vivianne's trials, and she's seen too much of the mansion and our court to simply be thrown away. We have made it clear that she is something of value to us. To immediately bend to Terrin's request and give her away to pacify him would set a precedent. At the slightest show of force, we will throw our own away. It would tell the The Courts that we are spineless."

Vivianne took a slow, controlled breath. I braced myself for what she was about to say.

"I understand what you are saying Lysander, but I maintain that it is in the best interests of the court to not provoke Lord Terrin." They stared at each other, Vivianne's emotionless stare was mirrored by Lysander. "I am unsure of if a war against him would be wise. If he is anything like his father was…" Lysander's mouth curled into his signature smirk.

"Maybe Lord Terrin would accept a different fae from our court as a pacifier, seeing as they appear to be in awe of them." I gasped. I wasn't the only one. Kendryek lifted his chin from his palm and sat up straighter.

The hair on my arms started to stand on end as electricity gathered in the air around Vivianne. Her brows sharpened, her lips forming a frown. The muscle in her jaw pulsed like a heartbeat. Her fingers contracted, slowly taking the shape of a claw.

"I am not afraid of Lord Terrin. I am worried that he would, as Allyn said, go to any lengths to have her. That could potentially mean a costly war. We do not have enough knowledge of the Spring Court to meaningfully predict the outcome of such a conflict. It is a risk I do not want to take," Vivianne replied, anger beginning to seep into her voice.

"So you're saying that Allyn isn't worth it?" Erin asked.

"I'm saying that Allyn isn't worth risking the lives of our soldiers, civilians, and leaders!" Vivianne snapped. She took a deep breath. "Her combat training and magical ability is minimal. She is young, inexperienced."

My face did not change, I kept it even and balanced. I didn't feel anger; I only felt a cold desire to tear her down and rip her apart. I leaned forward in my chair and brought my nose closer to hers.

"But I beat you, didn't I?"

"That was a trick! Lysander gave you a knife!" A few fae gave Lysander a questioning look. He replied with a mischievous smile and a shrug.

The room dimmed as a dark crimson object rose from the floor and surged into its chair. It was Hadrian, in all of his horrifying glory. The sleeves of his black robes and his hands were drenched in blood. He stretched out his wings, displaying their full length and size, before curling them up behind his back.

"The border is safe. I would have come sooner, but I was busy giving a defector a headectomy." He picked what appeared to be a piece of a fae's flesh from beneath his nail and flicked it onto the floor. I intentionally breathed through my nose and avoided looking at him, instead choosing to compare how nauseous the different fae looked. "But I was listening and from what I've heard," he pointed a blood soaked finger at Vivianne. "It sounds like you have something against her." He jerked his thumb at me.

This proved to be far too much for Vivianne.

"I do not have something against her! I do not see the point in trading away the lives of countless capable soldiers in a fight against the son of the most powerful High Lord to ever grace Prythian for the sole protection of one peasant half-fae girl who cannot cast even the simplest of spells!" She cried.

As soon as she had finished talking, Kendryek formed a fist with one hand and flung it in the direction of the hearth. Power crackled in the air as chains of hot fire bound Vivianne's neck, legs, and arms to her chair and sent her flying across the floor towards the roaring fire. She stopped just before the flames, the chair tipping backwards so that it was balanced on its two back legs. The fire grew in size until the tendrils of heat touched the wards surrounding Vivianne's skin.

It was the first time that I had seen her truly scared.

"Allyn is a fae just like any of us. I will not pawn her off to Terrin out of fear of retribution. I will not cower and bend to his will," his voice boomed, filling the room with sound. "I will not give up anyone in my court because of a _potential_ conflict." He let the words hang in the air. "We will meet him at The Meeting and make our stance clear. We will not give him what he wants and he will die trying to get it." He scoured the fae at the table for any sign of disagreement of mutiny. "Until then, we will begin to prepare for the worst. You are all dismissed."

A second or two passed before fae started getting up and leaving the table. Lysander was the first one up, followed by Rosalind. She stopped in the doorway and looked back at me, meeting my eye. She blinked, turned, and winnowed away.

Erin took one last look at Vivianne before filing out of the room along with all of the other fae that were seated at the table. Eventually, only Kendryek, Hadrian, Vivianne, and I were left. The tired, vacant look had returned to Kendryek's gaze. This time he didn't bother trying to mask it as something else.

Hadrian cleared his throat.

"Ken, I like my meat rare, not well-done," he stated.

"Oh, right." Kendryek waved his hand and Vivianne was sent away from the fireplace and sprawling out onto the floor. I caught a faint whiff of burnt hair. She furiously stood up, dusted herself off, straightened her scorched hair, and strode out of the room with as much dignity as she could muster after everything that had happened. It turned out my assumption was correct, she could walk perfectly fine with her prosthetic.

Hadrian simply sunk down into the carpet and vanished, hopefully heading off to a bath.

Kendryek didn't move, neither did I. I was watching him intently, studying his face. I started to wonder if he'd fallen asleep with his eyes open. A minute or two passed and he still had not moved. I stood up and gently placed my hand on his, squeezing it gently.

"The meeting is over," I murmured. He blinked slowly and mumbled something incoherent. I lightly tugged on his hand.

He rubbed his forehead with one hand before getting up from his chair. I pulled on his hand again, leading him towards the hallway. It was clear to me that he was exhausted and needed rest.

He moved slowly at first, but once we crossed the doorway and down the hall he picked up speed. He intertwined my fingers with his, drawing my body closer to his. The heat that radiated off of him turned my skin to gooseflesh. I wanted to be closer to him, to let our hearts and bodies be one, but I felt it was not the time nor the place.

"I am living a lie. I am not my father," he said in a low voice. "I do not have his power. I do not know if I have what it takes to run this court." I did not reply.

We stopped at his room, mine was not far down the hall from it. There he put his hand on the doorknob and let go of mine. We embraced. I pressed my ear to his chest and listened to the beat of his heart, enjoying every strong _thump_.

"You're one of us now," he murmured to me. "I'm not going to give you away." He squeezed me tightly enough that for a second I couldn't breathe before pushing me away. "I need to rest now...today has exhausted me." He spoke quietly. "Goodnight Allyn."

"Goodnight Ken," I replied before he disappeared into his room, leaving me alone in the hallway.

I trudged back to my room, each step was a struggle. After today I could have curled up into a ball on the floor and slept until this same time tomorrow. I didn't, as I got the feeling that that wouldn't reflect well on me.

I'd shown Vivianne up for the second time today, but that didn't make what she said untrue. I had cheated. If we were to fight one on one without Lysander's help, there was no question who would win. My grandfather had been a good teacher, but he was no fae. Neither was I. I had been nearly killed by a simple Puca and frozen by Terrin's Roar.

She was right. I wasn't worth much to this court. I didn't deserve to be with the son of one of The Seven, mated or not.

That last struck me hard. I did not deserve Kendryek, not like this, but I didn't want to give him up.

That only gave me one choice; I had to prove myself worthy of my place here.

With newfound resolve I flung my door open and marched into my room, to find a dark-haired, green eyed fae sitting on my bed. I leapt backwards and let out a small _eep_ , then checked behind me to ensure no one else had seen before slamming the door shut.

" _Whyareyouinmyroom!_ " I demanded. Lysander grinned at me.

"I wanted to congratulate you." He pushed himself off the bed and stood tall. "You did very well today. Though I have a deep respect for Vivianne, I enjoy watching her lose her temper." He walked towards me, each step as silent as an owl in the night. This was an impressive feat given that his shoes had soles that were at least an inch tall.

"Thank you, but I'd like you to not enter my room without my permission."

"I think I'm a higher rank than you, so I will do as I please. But, I will keep that in mind," he joked. He nodded and turned away, looking off at something in the distance. "If I knew you had a tongue that sharp I would have proposed to you the instant we got out of the Spring Court," he joked. At least I thought it was joking. He walked to the door. "Goodnight Allyn," he said as he put his hand on the doorknob.

"Wait," I said. He turned around and cocked his head inquisitively.

"What is it?"

"Do you think Terrin is lying? Do you think I really am mated to him?" Lysander was silent for a few moments.

"I am not sure."

That night I did not sleep well. Every time I started to drift off, the slightest noise would wake me. Every creak of the mansion, every distant word, every faint footstep was Terrin coming to take me away.


	9. Chapter 9: Flowers

I awoke the next morning to Tonilia rapping on my door. She rapidly made me presentable and planted me in front of Kendryek's door.

"Good morning Allyn," he said as the door opened. He was freshly shaven and bright eyed; he looked much better than he did last night. That's not to say sadness made him ugly - my heart fluttered when I looked at him either way.

"Good morning Lord Kendryek," I said, using his more formal title. If this bothered him, it did not show on his face. He took my hand and started down the hall with me trailing ever so slightly behind him.

Power beat out from his body like a drum. The connection I felt to it was stronger where our hands touched. The more time passed the more in tune I felt with him, yet the more I craved that power. It eased the void in my soul, but the fuller it got the greater it yearned to be filled.

"My apologies for being so depressed yesterday. My father is not in his best health and it strains me to see him that way. He used to be a great, powerful fae. He unified the court after centuries of feudal chaos. To see him fall so far…" he trailed off. "My brothers are vultures, looking to capitalize on his weakness for their own personal gain. It disgusts me, but I am not my father. I cannot...I do my best to stay out of it," he said. I knew why he did, he'd lost a lover before to a war. Now he may start one for me. "How did you deal with your grandfather's death?" he asked me.

I pondered it for a moment.

"From what he told me, my grandfather lived a good life. I don't think he had any major regrets or any demons that haunted him," I hesitated after saying this. I wasn't entirely sure it was true. "He was always happy, always content with what he had. His death was slow and painful for him, when he finally passed he deserved to move on, to move past this world." I took a deep breath to steady myself. "I still miss him, but he lives on in me, in my memories and in my heart. He's with me wherever I go, always guiding me with his wisdom."

"Hmm," Kendryek said. "You have a way with words," he murmured. "I've thought more about what you said the other night." We entered into the foyer of his mansion. The handful of fae who moved from place to place looked at me questioningly. A half-fae peasant next to their Lord. It was extremely odd. "That everyone has a time. I think you may be right, even for Fae. My father has lived a good life. Maybe it is his time." I didn't know what to say. Thankfully, I didn't need to.

"I do not see any chance of us winning against Gaius! I do not care what you say! He will annihilate our armies with one spell like he did to the Day Court's!" Vivianne said, her voice raised in volume, clearly still in a bad mood after last night. She wore a dress like she had the other day, the only difference was in the red patterns. Kendryek stopped me in the doorway.

The table had been expanded. Lysander now sat beside Rosalind's empty seat instead of on the end. She was not present this morning.

"He's not that strong," he said calmly. Instead of his usual attire, he wore quality chainmail. Covering the mail on his chest was an auburn shirt with a golden oak leaf in the center. A sword was drawn across his back and his blue knives were at his waist. "His power's been embellished over the years. Helion made the mistake of positioning his armies above a well-documented and quickly forming sinkhole. All Gaius did was give it a bit of a nudge." Erin, in her blue healer's robes, frowned.

"Forgive me if I sound rude, but I do not understand your constant desire to discredit The Seven. Are they not some of the most powerful fae that Prythian has seen?" she said. Erin followed the teachings of Arphaxad, a Peregryn and one of The Seven. To question him was to question a god.

"I don't have some sort of 'constant desire' to discredit The Seven. I have a constant desire to put an end to ridiculous fear mongering. Gaius probably isn't even alive - he hasn't been seen by anyone in centuries."

"What do you mean 'probably isn't even alive'? What could have killed an immortal of that power?" Erin demanded. Arphaxad had vanished during The Great War. Those who followed his teachings generally chose to believe he ascended to a higher plane, as a High Fae of that power is truly immortal in their eyes. They got very offended when any other option was presented.

"Perhaps shame? He does have the misfortune of being related to Lysander, if only distantly," Hadrian interjected. Thankfully he had cleaned off from yesterday and chose to wear something similar to Lysander, only he did not carry any weapons. He laughed at his own joke. No one else did.

"Bold words from the grandson of Nocturne," Lysander fired back.

"I'm actually his first cousin, twice removed," Hadrian countered. "Given how inbred the family trees in the Spring Court are, I think it would be worthwhile for you to know the difference."

"Oh trust me, I know the difference. I have my whole family tree memorized. I await the day that half of the Spring Court drops dead and I am chosen as the rightful heir to the title of High Lord."

Kendryek sighed.

"Mother help me." As soon as he was done speaking he stepped into the dining hall. Those at the table immediately fell silent. Vivianne paled. I trailed behind him to the table. He gestured towards a seat at the opposite end of the table, facing him.

"Ah, so I do rank above you," Lysander said to me. I shook my head and smiled.

Kendryek was not amused. He snapped his fingers and the world lurched around me. When things settled, I was now in Lysander's spot and vice versa.

I'd just been promoted.

"Well, shit," Lysander said. He smiled bitterly, his eyes flashing with anger.

"Are you doing something special today Lysander?" Kendryek asked him, eyeing his clothes.

"I am. I have no urgent duties and I was planning on going to collect intelligence on the Spring Court. If Hadrian and Vivianne start raising a militia and preparing troops today, we would be able to respond to any attacks adequately within a few weeks."

"No." Lysander didn't even blink. I got the feeling that he got shut down fairly often.

"Why not?"

"You'll get discovered."

"No I won't."

"You got discovered just two days ago."

"I had Allyn with me." He looked at me. "No offense, but I work best alone."

"It is too risky. If you do get discovered, it will surely be seen as an act of aggression," Kendryek said, starting to sound annoyed.

"And waltzing into our court isn't a sign of aggression?" Kendryek pressed his lips together. His power seemed to increase slightly. I swore I saw the flicker of a flame around his shoulder. "Okay, fine. I won't go to the Spring Court. But for the love of all things blessed, tell me you're going to start preparing for war." Kendryek shook his head. Lysander's mouth opened and closed a few times before coming to a rest.

"Lord Kendryek," Vivianne began to talk.

"What?" he demanded.

"With all due respect to you and your authority, Hadrian and I-"

"Woah woah, this was you and Lysander's idea, not mine," Hadrian interjected, raising his hands up defensively in front of him.

"- _Hadrian and I_ were thinking that beginning to raise a militia, or at the very least hiring a hundred or so more soldiers and increasing the pace at which they're being trained, would be a good precaution in case tensions do increase." Kendryek clasped his hands together and inhaled and exhaled slowly. His eyes clouded over as he was lost in thought. Vivianne's one eye watched him expectantly. A minute passed without anyone saying a word.

"Go ahead," he muttered, waving dismissively before setting his face in his hands. Vivianne let go of some of the tension in her neck. He breathed deeply. "No." Vivianne's neck tensed again. "I mean you are all right. He sat up straighter, his eyes clear again. "Begin working with the delegates as soon as possible to raise troops, funds, and weapons. As much as you two think will be necessary. If anyone puts up a fight, make it as clear as possible that this is serious. Work together. No one should stand up to both of you. You may leave now, if you so wish."

"Thank you," Vivianne said as she pushed herself away from the table and stood. Hadrian stayed put. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you coming?" He shrugged.

"I was told I would be getting a Wraith's heart for breakfast. I'll catch up afterward." Vivianne looked at him in utter disbelief.

"Hadrian, go." Hadrian let out a sigh powerful enough to ripple the tablecloth before vanishing.

"Erin, how long has it been since you last did a review of the temples?" Erin grimaced before reluctantly saying,

"Six years." Kendryek's eyes widened momentarily.

"Start reviewing them. They need to be prepared for any casualties." She nodded and strode out of the room, her eyes down.

Lysander and Kendryek met eyes. Kendryek sighed and waved his hand at the door.

"Go." Lysander practically flew out of his chair and out of the room. That left just the two of us at a table for eight.

"It's a little empty in here now," he said. "What do you think about going to a restaurant?" he asked. "I could show you around the court a bit while we are out, if you would like." I nodded excitedly. "After the last few days, we need to have some fun." He stood and walked over to me, offering me his hand. I stood and took it.

"Where are we going?"

"A fantastic place in the Summer court, just on the edge of our border."

Kendryek was right. It was fantastic.

The building was placed on the edge of a lake full of crystal clear water, though it was a disservice to call it a building. The structure was one gigantic tree whose branches reached out across the lake and shed tiny pink flowers that spiraled into the water below and floated like tiny boats. Many different string instruments could be heard playing a relaxing, melodic tune.

It was staffed by green winged, blue eyed, short, and wiry fae - pixies. They immediately recognized Kendryek as he walked through the door. A more official-looking one appeared and bowed deeply to Kendryek and I, so deeply that I was sure he would fall over.

"Good morning Lord Kendryek, son of High Lord Folius and…" he glanced at me.

"Allyn," I said. In comparison to Kendryek's title it sounded somewhat stupid.

"And Allyn." He stood straight up and smiled wide, showing off hundreds of disturbingly pointy white teeth in perfectly straight rows. "The deluxe table?" he asked. Kendryek nodded. "A good choice, as always."

Deluxe table?

I followed Kendryek down a hallway and to a staircase. As we walked down it I tried to ignore the odd looks and whispering that followed us wherever we went. One voice was loud enough that I heard - and could not forget - what they said.

"Why is that dull-eared girl with Lord Kendryek?"

When we reached the bottom we found ourselves on the water's edge. There the pixie plucked a red bulbous flower from the base of the tree. He cast it into the water. The moment it touched the water's surface it began to swell in size and grew to the size of a small house. One of the petals folded down like a door, allowing us to see inside.

Vines grew from the floor to form two intricately woven chairs. They surrounded a handful of petals that folded into a spiraling pattern to form a table. The top of the flower was open, allowing natural light inside. The inside was pleasantly cool.

Kendryek, with seasoned ease, stepped into the floating flower and offered me a hand. I accepted it, hopping into the flower and landing close to his chest, our arms touching.

"Before you go, what would you two like to eat?" The pixie asked us.

"To start off I would like what I usually get, the Coq au Vin and the Gougère," Kendryek said. At the moment I was hungry enough that anything would have tasted good.

"I'll have whatever he is getting," I said. The pixie bobbed his head up and down enthusiastically and bowed so deeply his back was almost parallel to the floor.

"We will have the food to you as soon as it is ready. Until then, enjoy the scenery," he said before rushing off back to the tree. Kendryek closed the flower lead me over to the table, still holding me hand. The seat changed its shape to best seat me.

His power, when confined within this small room, demanded my attention. All of the doubts I had vanished. I forgot about the chaos of the last few days and focused entirely on him.

When he was alone with me in this room, he looked calmer than I had seen him yet before. He relaxed in his chair, his royal robes falling into place around him. They covered up any details of his body, details that I would have liked to have observe.

"Thank you for taking me here," I said with a polite smile. "It's very, luxurious." He smiled back at me.

"I think it is what you deserve." I flushed. He let go of my hand and rolled his shoulders. "It's a bit stuffy in here, don't you think?" I shrugged and watched as he took off his robes, leaving just a shorter sleeved, slim fitting shirt beneath it. A thin line of skin showed around his waist. I looked off to the side to avoid staring.

"I think it is a bit chilly in here, actually." I rubbed my shoulders as if I was cold and hoped he understood what I meant.

He did.

I was suddenly sitting beside him, the room shaping itself to accommodate us. I immediately leaned against him, nestling underneath his arm so that I was closer to the source of that power. I sighed contentedly and grabbed his hand. With his other hand he played with my hair and hummed quietly to himself.

"Thank you again," I murmured.

Lying against a fae lord...If I'd told myself this just last week I would have called you insane.

Kendryek nudged me with his elbow.

"Time to wake up, the food's here." I untangled myself from him and returned to my seat across from him.

"Sorry," I sheepishly said. "I did not sleep well. Last night set me on edge."

"That is very understandable." He spread his napkin out across his lap and took up his fork and knife. "I cannot imagine what it must feel like for you to go face to face with Terrin, even if it was just a projection of him." I nodded.

"He is...disconcerting. When I looked into his eyes I saw nothing but ice. Cold, hard, unloving ice. He lacks any warmth, any kind of humanity." I frowned. "I mean, he is not like you are, not at all." Kendryek nodded.

"I have never met the fae, but he is the son of the only creature my father truly feared." He paused. "Are you afraid of Terrin?" I wasn't prepared for that question. I stopped to think.

"I am afraid I am too weak to oppose him." He cocked his head. I felt the need to elaborate. "When I met him in the forest, he incapacitated me with ease. There was nothing I could do against him. It wasn't even him, just a projection" A hint of my insecurity seeped into my voice.

"I understand," he said. "I will take actions to ensure your safety and we should make training you a priority, though…" he trailed off, a new thought breaking his concentration. "I think we may need to change who is conducting your training." I held in my excitement. I think anyone would be a step up from Vivianne.

After a period of silence, I asked,

"I apologize if I am prying too much, but what happened at the mansion?" Kendryek dropped his eyes to the table. He set his utensils down and inhaled deeply.

"I fear that if I tell you what happened, you will view me differently." I didn't think before replying.

"I won't look at you any differently."

"I could not handle seeing my father. He...appeared more conscious than he has in years, but below the surface he was far worse," he said flatly and emotionlessly, but the words still carried the weight of boulders. They resonated deep within me. He still stared at the table, a faraway look in his eyes, like he was still trying to process that it happened. "The last time I saw him he did not recognize me. This time...this time he knew who I was. At least I think he knew who I was. He talked to me. For a great while." He returned to his food, still looking at the table.

"What did he tell you?"

He paused and gathered his words. "My father was a great, noble fae. He was powerful, kind, and extremely intelligent. He told me I was to lead his court down the path to greatness. He told me that, out of all of my brothers, I was the one to rule this land.

"I do not want that kind of power, that kind of responsibility. I am happy with what I have now, my own little slice of Prythian. I do not want more. The inner circle, no matter how dysfunctional, is my family. To try and conquer more land, like he told me to do, would surely result in the cracks between us widening into rifts."

"But I digress. He is failing, he thinks he cannot recover. When my brothers realized there was nothing stopping them from fighting, they did. In the melee, I fled." I nodded solemnly. "It was a cowardly thing to do, but…"

"I understand," I spoke over him. He mirrored my nod and fell silent.

"The food is good," I said after a few minutes of silence.

"It is," he said as he pushed a piece of meat around the shallow bowl. "When I first met you, Hadrian said something." My stomach hardened. I knew what was coming.

"I knew someone, a long time ago," I started. "We became, close, in secret, for a short period of time." My chest and throat started to feel tight. What would he think of me after I told him? Would he be able to look at me the same? "He was a plain old human, I was a half-fae, so we kept things quiet, though it was never really much." I was rambling to delay facing the truth of what happened. Even after all this time and speaking about it in such bland terms, it still dredged up the terrible memories of that day.

His body on mine. The terror, the pain. The indescribable feeling of every molecule in my body screaming.

"It didn't end well." I did not say any more. I couldn't bring myself to. I could tell Kendryek was not satisfied with the answer I gave him, but it was the one he would get.


	10. Chapter 10: Training

"What are you doing here?" I asked Lysander when I found him sitting on the floor of the library, legs crossed and surrounded by a multitude of books. Some of them were in languages I could not understand. He flipped through the pages so quickly that I wasn't even sure he was reading them.

"That sounded more than a little accusatory," he replied as he closed the book he was reading. The title flickered; he was hiding it with a glamour. "I got enough information to warrant coming back, so here I am. In case you were wondering, my little vacation went well."

"Good," I replied before realizing he was trying to steer the conversation. "What are you researching?"

"The anatomy of mountain trolls. I saw a few being used by the Spring Court's army, I want to figure out a way to fight them."

"Are you really?" I asked. Without my explicit intention, my words became laced with power. Lysander relaxed, his pupils widened. The glamour on a book slipped, revealing their real title. "Prominent Mated Couples Throughout History."

"No, I'm-" He stopped talking and blinked.

He snarled, the spell breaking. He jumped to his feet, a knife appearing in his right hand. I leapt backwards.

His mind caught up with his body. He took a deep breath and sheathed his weapon. "Let's lay down some ground rules. I don't care if you use that magic on Erin, Vivianne, or Hadrian." He lowered his voice. "Hell, I don't even care if you use it on Kendryek, but you are _not_ going to use it on me!"

"I'm sorry! I don't know how to control it!" He maintained an angry stare for a moment before softening.

"Is that the second time you've ever done magic?" He asked. I nodded. "Then that explains a lot. How old are you again?

"Twenty six."

"Ah. You're basically still a teenager, a young one at that." I bristled. "Cool it Ms. Sassy. The fae part of your is still going through puberty at this point, as they mature at different rates. That might cause some odd effects. Just try to control it and don't cause any huge problems." I grumbled and moved on.

"Why are you trying to hide what you're reading from me?"

"I didn't want you to worry, but now it's too late." He gestured to a seat beside a shelf. I sat down on the floor near him. He flipped to a spot he had marked in a book. He handed it to me. "Read this page."

"Not all mates are destined to be together. Somes mating bonds are discovered too late in life for the relationship to work out, sometimes the personalities of individual fae do not mesh, or other times the political situation does not allow for the mates to be together. As a result, fae have found ways to handle the effects of the bond."

Once I started to turn the page he said, "you're lucky you're female. Dealing with the effects of a bond are a lot harder for the male, but you just have to go on with life as normal. All we have to do is kill Terrin or convince you to leave you alone."

"Easier said than done." Lysander chuckled.

"Maybe. We'll see how things go." He took the book from my hands and stacked them all into a neat pile. "I never heard how your date night with Kendryek went," he stated.

"Well," I replied.

"I sense a bit of uneasiness there."

"I believe your sense is wrong." He shrugged.

"Maybe. How much did you drink?" he asked as he leaned his back against the bookshelf.

"I don't know, three or four." He cocked his head. "Enough to get more than a little drunk," I added sheepishly.

"And how many did he have?" I was starting to get a bit annoyed.

"I don't know, if I had to guess I'd say one or two. Are you going somewhere with this or are you just rambling?" He grinned.

"I'm always rambling."

"It's getting late," he said after what must have been hours. We had spent the time talking about everything and nothing at all. Somehow we got from telling stories from our past to arguing about the best way to catch a Suriel (I maintained that what a book told me was correct, but he was adamant that he knew a better way). Eventually we came to a stalemate and moved on.

I nodded and yawned. He was right, the sun had set a while ago and I felt the call of sleep. He stood and helped me up, then turned to leave the doorway.

"Wait," I started. I felt the need to say something.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for being my friend." It surprised me how hard the words were to say. He smiled warmly. It was the most genuine smile I'd seen him show me.

"You're welcome. Thank you for being mine." He held the door to the reading room open for me. "Get some rest. You'll need it, as you're scheduled to train with Hadrian tomorrow."

"Fuck."

* * *

"Good morning princess," Hadrian said as I approached. He was dressed in his weird black robes again, his eyes covered by fabric. He kept his wings tight against his body. His aura of power felt somewhat muted in comparison to when I first met him. He looked about as pleased to be here as I was. "See that tower in the distance?" He pointed in the general direction of an old watchtower.

"It's actually a little to the left," I told him. I was in a particularly bad mood this morning. I'd spent most of last night tossing and turning, completely unable to sleep. The guard that Kendryek had stationed outside of my room did little to make me feel safer.

"Hilarious. I was going to have you run here and back three times, but now I'm making it four. Go." I gasped. It had to be at least a mile away from where I was standing. "Go," he repeated with a bit more force. I saw no options other than to start running. "Make it quick, I have things I need to get done with Vivianne today."

On my way back for the first time I found him sitting on the ground with his legs crossed and his hands on his knees. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. My pace was too fast to keep this up, I needed to slow down.

"Did I tell you to stop or slow down?" he asked flatly.

"No," I gasped before starting running again.

I had slowed to a walk a few times on my way back the second time. Somehow, Hadrian knew this.

"Did I tell you to slow down?" He demanded. He had not moved a muscle since the last time I found him.

"I think you're overestimating me," I replied.

"Do it again." I turned back to the watchtower, silently cursing him. "I am going to count to a thousand. I expect you to be back here by the time I finish."

My throat burned, my chest was tight, I had a stabbing pain in my side, and my vision was going blurry by the time I returned to him. He was not counting.

"You took too long." I felt a hot flash of anger through my pain.

"I can't!" I panted. Hadrian got to his feet.

"Are you a human or are you a fae?" He asked me. The hell kind of question was that?

"I'm a half-fae."

"Are you a human or are you a fae?" He repeated without acknowledging my answer.

"I don't know…"

"Run it again. One thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine, nine hundred and ninety eight…"

When I was halfway back to Hadrian, my legs gave out from underneath me. The world swam and I was breathing as quickly as my heart beat. Shadows passed in front of my eyes. I think I was crying.

A dark entity appeared beside me, grabbed me by my wrists, and pulled me to my feet.

"Slow your breathing." I tried and failed. "Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth." I tried, but I failed. I couldn't stop myself from helplessly gasping at the air. " _Slow your breathing,_ " he repeated, louder. This time I did not even try.

Then I lost control of my own body. A force surged into me and I did not have the strength to fight it. It forced my breath to slow. It made me stand tall and place my hands on my head, opening up my core. It held me that way until my vision cleared and I relaxed.

"Are you a human or are you a fae?" Hadrian was standing in front of me. He was the source of that force.

"If this is what being a fae is like, I don't want to be one," I replied. He turned away from me.

"Vivianne was right," he said. Then, he vanished.

* * *

I took a bath to calm down before spending the rest of the day running myself through training routines and drills in the fields with a practice sword I found. If no one was going to train me, I would train myself.

I worked for far longer than what my body would have liked, but I couldn't stop. Hadrian's words gnawed at me relentlessly. It was so distracting that it kept me from feeling my aching muscles and shaky arms. I hardly paid attention to what I was doing, until I missed the practice dummy and nearly clobbered myself in the head with a practice sword.

I decided it was time to be done and started to hunt down Erin in hopes of being healed.

"I'm sorry, I can't," she said. I could tell that refusing my request pained her. I considered trying to use my persuasive magic to convince her, but it felt wrong. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway.

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm not allowed to."

"Why not?"

"Hadrian told me not to." I scowled.

"And you're just going to let him tell you what to do?" I asked. She looked to the side.

"It's not about him telling me what to do." I huffed and walked away from her, as quickly as my sore body would let me.

I spent the rest of the day aimlessly reading pieces of different books in the reading room and ignoring anyone else who came in.

I didn't know what I was searching for, just that I was searching for something, flicking from book to book after skimming the table of contents and then a few words. It wasn't until I found a fairly new-looking book about legendary artifacts in Prythian and saw an entry about Kalista's Tear. It was short and to the point.

"Kalista's tear is a legendary gem that supposed fell from High Lady Kalista's eye when she learned of her child's deaths. The legend states that the tear fell from her face when she learned of her daughter's death. The Tear then, conveniently for the legend, disappeared. It exists only in legend, though, as there is no record of this artifact ever existing in the first place and the legend of its existence came to be known long after Erosa's death.

Some take the story to be an allegory for her lost child, allegedly a half-fae born to an unknown mortal man. This is an interesting explanation for a legend, but it has little supporting evidence outside of High Fae gossip and is therefore, unlikely. The metaphor is also a stretch and it is most likely a case of trying to connect two unrelated legends."

That was all there was. Intrigued, I flipped to the glossary and searched for any references to Kalista elsewhere in the text. There were few and all were unrelated.

I sighed and stored the limited information I'd gained in the back of my mind before resuming aimlessly searching the shelves for something else that was interesting.

"Hey," a voice said. I turned to see who it was. It was Kendryek. He was dressed in a casual pair of pants and a shirt with a deep neck, something I would have normally appreciated but I wasn't in the mood to. He appeared to have entered from a different door in the reading room, one that must have connected to his quarters. "I heard your training with Hadrian did not go very well." I shrugged. I didn't want to talk about it.

He approached me and sat down beside me on the couch I was seated on. I felt a bit warmer, a bit better when he was near. He peered at the words on my book.

"What are you reading?" I shrugged again.

"I am not very sure, I have been skimming over books for some time now, looking for something interesting." I paused. "I read in one book that it is rumored that High Lady Kalista had a half-fae daughter." Kendryek swallowed. His commanding presence faltered.

"Interesting. I wonder where the author got that nonsense idea from. High Lady Kalista despises humans- it's why she picked the side she did in . She would never bed one."

"The author thought it was all nonsense High Fae gossip as well."

"Are you sore at all?" he inquired, touching my arm.

"A bit," I replied. He raised an eyebrow.

"How much is a bit?"

"A lot," I admitted.

"Here, why don't you come lay down in my room for a little bit, I can make you feel better," he murmured softly into my ear. A few goosebumps raised on my skin. I stood, groaning as my body protested. He took my hand and led me to his room where I laid face down on his bed. He placed a hand on the base of my back and closed his eyes.

Power flowed out from his hand and through my body, driving away the pain from the sore muscles and replacing it with a feeling of utter contentedness. When he was finished, he patted my back and laid down beside me.

"Are you feeling better?" I nodded sleepily and thanked him.

"Why are you so kind to me?" I murmured as I curled up closer to him.

"Because you deserve it," he whispered. He pressed his lips against my forehead. My eyes slowly closed and I fell asleep to the sound of his beating heart.


	11. Chapter 11: Drinking Game

"Good morning princess." He sniffed the air. "Who healed you?" he demanded.

"Kendryek." His lips pressed into a straight line.

"Are you ready to try harder today?" Hadrian asked me. I didn't respond. He hmmpfed. "You know what to do."

So I started running.

After the third time I was close to collapsing again. "No better today?" he asked. "Did you learn nothing?" I didn't respond. "Go to the training fields. I will meet you there."

Hadrian stood in the center of one of the bare fields. He wore only his robes. He held a sword in both of his hands. He handed one of them to me. It was a simple steel weapon, defining features other than an odd pattern in the center of the blade that appeared to be a part of the steel itself.

"This is the sword Vivianne neglected to give you," he said. As soon as I had it in my hands, he swung his sword at me. I was barely able to block it in time. The contact of our weapons sent a jarring shock up my arm.

"Aren't we going to dull the blades first?" Lysander had showed me a spell the other day that allowed one to blunt the edge of their sword for training purposes.

"No." He laughed darkly.

I immediately formed a fighting stance and prepared to duel him. I waited for him to strike again, testing the weight and feel of my weapon in the meantime. None came.

"I'm waiting," he said. "Are you too afraid to hit a poor, old, blind man?" I tentatively jabbed at his chest, testing his guard. He deflected it easily, batting my blade to the side. "Weak."

He lunged at me, swinging hard. I jumped back, dodging the swipe and retaliating with a jab. He disappeared and reappeared behind me, driving his heel into my back and knocking me to the ground with a teeth-jarring thud.

"You do not have any wards? Weak." I cursed and got back on my feet.

We began to circle one another, our blades at the ready. I tried to fake him out a few times. Each time he did not fall for it; he remained as stoic and stern as ever. It was as if he knew exactly what I was planning to do.

I attempted a few more swipes at him, each time he parried them with ease.

"You are not even trying," he said. "Are you a fae or are you a human?"

"I am a half-fae," I responded annoyedly.

He lunged towards me, his sword flashing in the light as he attacked me relentlessly. I was not able to block all of his attacks and my bruises began to add up.

"You are far stronger than this," he stated as the point of his sword ended up below my chin, my shirt in his grasp. I wrenched myself from his grip and retreated to catch my breath. "Why do you choose to be weak?" He did not give me much time to wait before launching another flurry of attacks.

Out of sheer luck I managed to deflect his attack and punish a lapse in his defense, stabbing towards his chest. Again, he vanished and reappeared behind me to kick me to the ground.

"Weak." I cursed once more and leapt to my feet. The cycle repeated again.

"Weak." And it repeated again.

"Weak." And again.

"Weak." And again, until I was unable to lift myself to my feet. He repeated that damn question another time before vanishing, leaving me alone in the field.

When I recovered I went straight to Kendryek's room in hopes he was there. He was, but he refused to heal me this time and did not give an explanation. I didn't challenge him. I knew why he wouldn't.

Many days passed, each of them the same. I grew to dread training with Hadrian more than anything else in the world. My body was in a constant state of pain from bruises, sore muscles, and the occasional cut. Erin and Kendryek refused to help me. Lysander was in the Spring Court for days and I didn't want to contact him - I didn't feel like I was that important. I didn't dare go to anyone else for assistance.

The only thing Kendryek was interested in was trying to get me to spend time in bed with him, but he did not want to help me catch up on sleep. Erin was always too busy to do anything. As a result I spent most of my free time inside of the reading room, trying to ignore the guard stationed outside the door and reading whatever piqued my interest at the moment.

Whenever I was too bored to focus on words I would return to a book of drawings from inside the Winter Court. The images of snow capped mountains, tall fortresses, blank fields of white, and blizzards instilled some amount of foreboding or worry inside most fae, but not me. They were fascinating and beautiful. They were pictures of my home, where my father had come from. By learning more about his homeland I felt as though I knew him better, even though I had no idea who he was.

I was disappointed to find that the book only consisted of a handful of drawings and a lot of references to other, similar books by the same author. When I asked Kendryek about these other books, he claimed they were lost to time. I did not believe him.

* * *

"What do you mean 'you won't like what's inside of it'?" I angrily asked Lysander. I had apparently woken him up from an afternoon nap, one he started as soon as he got back from the Spring Court.

"I've been back for all of-" he checked a nonexistent watch on his hand"-two hours and you've already woken me up from the first sleep I've gotten in two days and started shouting at me about some stupid book. Can you wait until tomorrow?" I opened then quickly shut my mouth.

He looked terrible. His face was dirty, there were great big bags beneath his bloodshot eyes, his hair was a mess, and he drooped as he stood in his doorway. He had spent the last few days spying from within the Spring Court and it showed.

I had not considered any of that before almost running to his door to wake him up - I had to use the connection between us to rouse him from sleep - so I could pester him about a book.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I haven't had a good week. Hadrian has been treating me like absolute shit and there's nothing I can do to make him stop. Kendryek has been acting weird, Erin has refused to help me, and you've been gone. I've been sitting alone in the reading room every day, reading and waiting for something to change." He nodded grimly and took a step back, beckoning me inside.

"I know and I'm sorry." He sighed. "I'll get you your book. Read it thoroughly, do not skip over any of it. It is important that you understand the true weight of what is within the pages. When you are finished, you can wake me up."

It was entitled "Horrors of the Winter Court". I initially assumed it was a collection of different Winter Court monsters. It was not. It was a collection of the effects of the actions of one monster. Kalista.

In her section of Prythian half-fae were not second class citizens. They were below animals. She had any half-faes caught within her borders arrested and imprisoned. If they were ugly, imperfect, or just simply not to her liking they were killed in a variety of horrifying ways, from impalement to being eaten alive. If they were to her liking, they were treated far worse.

In what were referred to as "Living Gardens" her favorite half-fae were kept. They were bound by rope and forced to maintain uncomfortable positions while standing naked in small courtyards. They were magically gagged and completely unable to make a sound. The rope that held them in place cut deep into their skin, causing blood to trickle down from wherever rope was tied. Many of the hands, feet, faces, and ears of these poor fae were blackened from frostbite.

Physical abuse was also frequent and the effects of it were everywhere. Lacerations on a bare back, bloodied eyes, missing teeth, few went without damage. All were starved of food and water, some to the point of death.

Worse things followed these already disturbing images, things I couldn't handle. I set the book down and rested my head in my hands trying to recover from what I'd seen. The faces of the suffering - so accurately and precisely drawn by the artist - were etched into my mind.

I spent a long while trying to process what I had seen before waking Lysander.

"So you've seen it all now," he said as he washed his face. "Do you now understand why I didn't want to give it to you?"

"Yes," I choked out. I'd been on the verge of tears for a long while. He dried his face and walked closer to me. I stared into the distance, my mind somewhat blank. He went in for a hug. I did not resist.

He was warm, soft, and strong. I felt as though I could root myself in him and repair the mess I'd made of myself. I held him back, squeezing as tightly as I could.

"Ow."

"Sorry." I loosened up my hold, but did not let go. I continued to hold him until long, long after it became awkward. He never complained.

"What could bring a fae to doing such things?"

"At the start of the Great War, Gaius worked with a group of half-fae rebels to destroy the Keystones, seven magical artifacts that give Prythian its power. He thought that he was strong enough to outlast the destruction of the stones and that the others weren't. The half-faes wanted to break the High Fae's of their stranglehold on the majority of power in Prythian. Neither succeeded.

"Prythian hasn't been the same since. It gets a little worse every year, the power in this world is fading. Snow falls in the Spring Court, the Sun sets in the Day Court, the lakes of the Summer Court freeze over. It is impossible to understate how much of a shift this was for Prythian. Nothing is the same since before. Magical creatures are slowly disappearing from the wilderness, certain relics no longer retain the power that they once had, and fae across Prythian can feel their magic slowly slipping away from them.

"Some blamed Gaius for what happened, some blamed the group of half-fae, and some blamed all half-fae. Many of those fae have moved on, but some still hold a hatred for all half-fae deep in their heart. Kalista is one such person," he explained. I drifted back to one of the chairs and sat down.

"I don't want to think about this anymore," I said. "I want to talk about something else."

"How is training with Hadrian going?" he asked me as he took a seat beside me, a bottle of white wine and a glass appearing in his hands. It had a hammer insignia on it along with a birch tree. "Spring Court wine," he told me. "Slightly stronger than what we have here and much, much tastier. I stole it." He laughed. I shook my head in disapproval.

"It is ass. Absolute ass."

"That's what I was afraid of." He poured himself a tall glass, drank half of it, then filled it back to the top.

"Heavens above Lysander, you're going to be drunk within the hour," I said incredulously.

"Nah, it takes a lot to really get me drunk. I get mildly tipsy, but never drunk." He proceeded to drink another half of the cup before laying back in the chair, watching the fire burn.

"Is that a challenge?" I asked, hoping he'd accept. Today felt like one of those days where I would rather be drunk than not.

"No, but if you insist on challenging me to a drinking contest I will accept."

"Then I challenge you," I said. He shrugged.

"Alright, you've made your choice." I wasn't very interested in winning before, but he sounded so sure of himself that I now wanted to prove him wrong. He poured me a glass and handed it to me. He swirled his wine around in the glass. "Hadrian was put through brutal training when he was younger and again when he was turned into a bloodworker. It's all he knows."

"Well tell him to know something different, because what he is currently doing isn't working." He chuckle dryly.

"I can't. Once he gets an idea, he doesn't stop till he fails beyond recovery or succeeds. It is both his greatest strength and flaw."

"That's dumb."

"I don't make the rules." I grumbled.

"So how are we doing this? I've never actually done a drinking contest before." I had never had a friend to drink with and by the time I was of age, alcohol would send my grandfather into a fit of rage.

"We'll both chug a glass at the same time, then wait a while to start the next glass."

"How do I win?" I asked.

"You don't." I narrowed my eyes. Now I _really_ wanted to beat him. He smirked and gulped down his glass. "Your turn." It smelled sweet, like grapes and cherries. I took a small sip and found it to be fizzy, sweet, strong, and only a little tart. "What do you think?" Lysander asked. I chugged the rest, putting forgetting today in front of enjoyment of the wine. I gave him a thumbs up as I swallowed the last mouthful and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

My stomach exploded into a flutter of warm butterflies and my throat burned. Almost immediately I could feel the effect of the drink kicking in.

I relaxed and smiled at Lysander as the troubling book and the struggle of Hadrian's training, the horrors of that book, and all of the other stresses in my life slipped from my mind. I got the feeling that it would be a fun night.

 **Lysander**

Despite her strong will to win, she wasn't even coming close. After two she was already a giggly wreck and after four her speech was starting to slur. That was when I decided to cut it off, as I didn't want her blacking out in my cabin.

Allyn truly was something. When the alcohol melted away her spiking exterior, she was a fun, adorable, and exciting girl. She had a lot of cute habits, most of them only coming out when I pushed her to do something that required concentration. During our game of chess, she incessantly twisted her hair around her finger and she made a soft, angry "ah" whenever I took one of her pieces.

"Are you ever going to let me win?" she demanded me after I beat her for the sixth time in a row. Was it mean to repeatedly beat a drunk, inexperienced player? Yes. Did I really care? No.

"I'm not going to hand you victory because then you won't really feel like you earned it and you'll still be mad." She crossed her arms, stuck out her lip, and scowled at me. The only thing that stopped that look from melting my heart and making me hers was hundreds of years of self control practice and twenty five years of being dead inside. "Someone's a little grumpy," I said, poking fun at her. She grumbled and stood up to stretch. She groaned loudly.

"I am so sore," she complained. I didn't blame her, I knew what Hadrian was doing. He was trying to break her enough to coax the magic out. It worked for him when he was a child in the Illyrian training camps and it worked for him when he was turned into a Bloodworker, but it wasn't working for Allyn.

"Would it help if I gave you a back rub? I've heard that I'm quite good at it," I asked, somewhat reflexively. It was something I often offered to do. I had told myself that I was going to keep my hands off of her, but I was bad at sticking to my word. She nodded her head enthusiastically. "Lay down on the bench," I told her. I would be awkwardly off to the side and she would be partially falling off, but I could make it work. Compared to trying to give someone a massage when my hands and feet were in cuffs, this would be easy.

She tried to do as I told, but she kept moving around and falling off. If she was sober she could have figured it out, but not in this state. The last time she fell onto the floor she grumbled and looked up at me.

"Can't I just lay down in your bed?" I shrugged and helped her to her feet. I hated how even something as simple as touching her hand made me feel.

"Sure, but it'll cost you fifty pieces," I replied.

"You're not funny," she said through a grin. Once we were in the loft she flopped down into my bed without hesitation, despite the fact that it was an untidy mess.

"Why is your bed so big," she asked me.

"In case I ever want to have more than a few people at a time over," I lied. "It allows plenty of space for everyone." Lying was a bit of a problem for me, but harmless ones like that weren't something I spent time worrying about. "Plus, the blankets are so large that it makes hogging them impossible." She made a face at me, one I was used to seeing. I got a lot of harassment for the job I worked and for what I enjoyed doing in bed. For some reason other fae couldn't comprehend the idea of being aroused by different things.

"I am going to do this in an utterly platonic way," I said before climbing on top of the bed and standing above her on my knees. It was a mildly erotic and somewhat dominating stance, so I felt the need to clarify my intentions. "I promise." This time I was doing my best to be truthful.

"That's a shame," she replied, her voice muffled by the sheets on the bed. My heart jumped, but I ignored it. It would be a few years before I felt comfortable doing anything serious with her, plus Kendryek had already staked claim - something I was thoroughly disgusted by for a variety of reasons.

I placed my hands on her shoulder and kneaded them as one would knead bread. From there I worked on each of her shoulder blades, gently working each of the many knots out of her back.

"You are quite tense," I told her.

"I'll - hhh - try to - hhh - relax," she replied in between pants. I continued to move down her body, the closer I got to her stomach the more she giggled when I touched her. She had a cute laugh that reminded me of a young pixie I had found in a patch of flowers in my youth.

"Stooooopppp," she told me.

"Okay, I'll stop," I said as I took my hands off her and moved away. "Nooo, don't do that either." I laughed a genuine, heartfelt laugh, something I hadn't had in a long time.

"What do you want from me?" She threw her hands above her head. "Mmkay." I resumed my job. When I had reached the small of her back I stopped going any further and returned to her shoulderblades, this time focusing more on relaxing her than working out the knots and tense areas of her back.

"You're better at this than Ken is," she murmured. Well, duh. I was better than Kendryek at just about everything.

"My job hinges on my ability to make people like me." She turned her head to the other side, allowing me to get a better glimpse at her face. Her eyes were half open and full of bliss and she appeared more relaxed than I'd ever seen her before.

"What is your job exactly?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you have sex with people all the time-"

"Correct."

"But I don't really understand what you do." For someone who was this drunk, she was surprisingly good at creating coherent sentences.

"Officially I am supposed to go to other courts and negotiate, observe, and meet, other fae. In addition, I am somewhat of a mailman for Kendryek and I sort through most of the crap that fae feel the need to send to us. Unofficially I gather information on other courts by any means necessary and do whatever I can to make connections there. Usually that means a lot of sucking up to other fae and flirting with the right people to get the influence," I explained. I wasn't sure she was really paying attention. She was quite clearly daydreaming.

"You have a very nice voice," she said.

"Thank you, I get that a lot." I was almost at her abdomen again, and this time I was planning to do something mildly evil. "The best and worst part of my job is constantly having to act differently based off of who I'm meeting," I continued. I felt comfortable sharing this with her since I didn't believe she would remember much of what happened tonight. Spring Court wine had that effect. "I can't act like a twink in the Night Court and expect to get anywhere but underneath the boots of other fae, but convincing Quercus' second in command to be favorable is a lot easier when you're his 'special little plaything'." She shuddered.

"That's gross."

"Hey, don't kinkshame," I said as I prepared to execute my plan. "I can convince myself to enjoy it if I try harder enough." Just then, I pushed my fingers into the sides of her stomach and tickled her as aggressively as I could.

She screamed with laughter and shoved me off. I fell to the side of the bed and quickly reoriented myself before jumping back at her with my arms outstretched. She was ready, though, as she caught my hands in mid-air and gripped my wrists tightly. I twisted around in her grasp in an attempt to break free. When I managed to break one hand free, we both froze, staring at each other with wild eyes.

"Don't," she said, half laughing. "I'm serious." I poked at her with my one free hand and she jumped backward, letting go of my other hand as she did so. "Oh no," she said. I dove at her once more, once again aiming for her stomach.

She caught me and rolled to the side, sending my head straight into one of the wooden beams of the sloped roof.

Thunk

Stars flooded my vision and pain reverberated throughout my head. I went limp.

"Shit!" she exclaimed as she grabbed my hand. "Are you okay?" I didn't respond, I would be completely fine after my magic kicked in, but I wanted to pull her leg. "Lysander!" she shook my hand. "Oh no," she said, sounding genuinely upset this time. She pulled me out from the corner of the bed and the ceiling and looked down at me. She repeated my name a few times, growing more worried with each repetition, until I finally broke the ruse.

"Gotcha!" I said, opening my eyes and springing up in bed. She immediately punched me in the arm.

"Meanie," she mumbled, but I could tell she was relieved. She crossed her arms and looked away from me. I laid back on the bed and stared up at the stars through the window in my roof. In a moment, she joined me, leaving a moderate amount of space in between the two of us.

"Why do you have this window in your roof?" She asked me.

"I get claustrophobic easily." Something about collapsing a mineshaft on top of yourself will do that to you. "The window helps."

"Me too." She sighed and moved a little closer to me. "This is a very comfortable bed," she murmured.

"I try." Every ten or so years I ordered another custom bed - the only places that made these beds normally were located in the Night Court - from a kind old fae in the Day Court. It was expensive, but money meant nothing to me.

She continued to inch closer to me. I wondered if she thought she was being sneaky, because she most certainly was not. I didn't push her away, even though it felt extremely wrong.

"I enjoy spending time with you," she said softly, so softly I could barely hear it. She pressed her face into my shoulder. "You make me feel less alone." I said nothing.

The powers I had at my disposal allowed me to get a general idea of what the people around me were feeling or thinking. I used it frequently to get a better idea of how to react and respond, but I had only used it twice on Allyn. The first time was when I was scanning her intentions in the forest, the second was when she was first speaking to Kendryek.

Using it then had crushed me, but now, I did not know how to feel. She was happy, content, definitely drunk, and a little aroused. Nothing that was out of the ordinary for an intoxicated fae, but it was not all she was feeling at that moment. She felt so calm, as though there was nothing in the entire world worth worrying about. As if the fate of the court was not resting upon her shoulders. I envied that feeling.

There was one more feeling, though, the one that was much harder to capture than the others. It rested on the edges of her mind and it was buried deep within the subliminal thoughts she did not know she had. It permeated her thoughts like a faint mist; completely undetectable by the untrained eye. I could not bring myself to put a name on it.

"Allyn, I think it's time for you to go back home," I told her. I did not want her to, but I also did not want her to stay here. I had no good choices. She scowled.

"No. I don't want to. The mansion isn't my home," she said. She crossed her arms and glared at me.

"It's late, you're drunk, and Kendryek will get mad if you continue to stay here," I sternly told her. _Plus I'm afraid I'll take advantage of you, if I haven't already_ , I thought to myself. "He probably already is mad."

"So?" She asked. "I don't care if he's mad."

"That's easy for you to say when you are not the one who will be burned." I got off the bed and took her hand. I tugged her towards the ladder. She stubbornly shook her head.

"I don't want to."

"You need to go home." She grew more annoyed.

"I already told you! The mansion isn't my home. I don't have one." A tear glistened in her eye. My heart ached. I reluctantly embraced her, hoping it would help calm her down. She stayed rigid, keeping her arms at her side.

"I am going to take you back to the mansion," I told her. "Kendryek will want to know where you are." And more importantly, Kendryek would be livid if she spent the night in my cabin. Even if I spent it in a different court entirely, he would still be furious that she was in here at all. As much as I liked making Kendryek mad, he was still the one who had my power stored away somewhere in The Forest House and I should be getting back on his good side.

I pulled her out of the door and down the pathway towards Kirkwall. She said nothing to me for the rest of the trip, not even "goodnight" when I left her at the doorway to the mansion.

I felt like I had done something wrong, that I could have done something better, but there was no telling what.


	12. Chapter 12: Church

I woke up the next morning feeling less horrible than I expected. I had a mild headache and I was quite thirsty, but no other physical symptoms were present. I didn't remember much of what had happened last night. I only had a lingering bittersweet feeling that refused to fade.

I was grateful for Tonilia's non-stop rambling, as it distracted me from trying to remember what happened. I was also grateful for her bringing me breakfast at my request, since I did not want to sit at the table. The only thing I knew about last night was that something odd happened between Lysander and I. I knew I would have to face whatever that was at some point, but now was not that time.

Training went exactly as expected. I did not improve and neither did Hadrian's treatment of me.

Kendryek left early in the morning without saying a word to anyone. By the time dinner rolled around, he was not back. Without him at there, I was afraid things were going to be crazy. I expected arguments and insults, maybe even fighting, but it was peaceful. All of our disagreements were left at the door and for tonight, we were a just a group of friends (regardless of how tenuous those friendships were).

Much of the conversation was centered around an quickly upcoming holiday, one that High Lord Folius had created a long time ago. It was arbitrarily selected to be sometime in the middle of Autumn, as it was just an excuse to get together and have fun. Over the years it morphed into a very love focused holiday and the vast majority of the activities were centered around two people.

These activities tested the strength of the love (or friendship) between two people. Some of the challenges were three legged races, two on two spars, dance competitions, couples beauty pageants, competitions in which couples would sing a duet, the list went on and on. Bored, immortal creatures tend to come up with some creative ways to spend their time.

We danced around the topic of who would be with who until Erin finally asked Lysander who he was going with.

"Who are you planning on going with, Lysander?" She asked him expectantly while she groomed one of her disabled wings, avoiding his eye. Lysander shrugged.

"Not sure yet, whoever offers to buy me the biggest ring, like I've done for the last couple of years," he replied jokingly. "I've already gotten four offers, all of which would be a fine addition to my collection." Vivianne curled her lip.

"I think you need a refreshed on the reasons for the day, Lysander," Vivianne told him. "Love cannot be bought. It is more than money and sex." Lysander shrugged again and took a drink from his goblet.

"Maybe. I'll think about it." Vivianne looked proud of herself. Erin gave him a wide, desperate look, but was completely ignored.

"How about you, Hadrian? Are you planning on bringing a cadaver along as your date again?" Lysander asked him, laughter dancing in his eyes. Hadrian chuckled quietly. Erin grimaced.

"I might, or maybe I'll get lucky and I'll convince The Weaver to go with me this year. I've heard she gets lonely in that decrepit old cabin," he replied. "I could write her a little card. 'Your stunning eyes and lovely hair make me wish that you would weave our fates together…'" We laughed, Vivianne feigned retching.

"You could try asking Allyn," Lysander said, elbowing me in the shoulder. "I've heard you two have good chemistry." Hadrian's looked like he'd just drank vinegar. I shared his expression.

"Ha ha, very funny, but I'll be spending it with Lord Kendryek," I replied confidently. We hadn't talked about it yet, but I was sure we were going to spend it together.

The table went oddly silent. Most stared at their laps uncomfortably without saying anything before Erin spoke up.

"There is a reason why we are talking about this while Lord Kendryek is gone," she said softly. "Erosa died while celebrating with him. Since then, he has refused to do anything on that day." My mouth dried. I was speechless, a mix of embarrassment and disappointment.

"Anyway...Got any ideas on who you are going to go with, Vivianne?" Lysander asked her. I zoned out of the conversation, I no longer wanted to be a part of it.

At the end of the night Erin approached me.

"Are you doing alright?" She asked me, softly, out of earshot of the others in the room.

"I'm just, stressed," I said. "Confused." Nothing I was doing felt right, I saw no clear path forward in my life. I was caught up in a storm that was out of control.

She hmmed.

"Tomorrow morning is a service at the Dawn's Light chapel." I internally cringed. Growing up grandfather had always opposed the idea of religion, gods, or a God. That belief had been passed onto me. "I have always enjoyed attending a service there." I blinked and held in a rude remark. "The teachings of Arphaxad have always helped me sort out my life." I forced a smile - she was offering this to help me, out of the kindness of her heart - and said,

"Sure, I'll go for one service."

* * *

I'd seen the chapel a few times from far away, but approaching it now was something completely different.

Spires stretched high into the sky, clinging to them were sculptures of winged fae, all of them eyeless. These sculptures coated the outside of the building, there was no space that was not occupied by one or two. They were in a variety of different positions, all acting out different events in history. In the center of the building, just above the doorway into the chapel, stood a tall, marble statue of a fae clad in robes.

Four wings sprouted from his back, all reaching towards the heavens. His arms reached too, grasping at something beyond him. His face had only one eye, located in the center of his forehead. It gazed upward, towards the rising sun.

It couldn't have been anyone but Arphaxad.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Erin asked me as she led me into the building. I nodded even though I found Arphaxad to be a little unnerving. "This place has stood for hundreds of years...incredible," she murmured. At the moment, I was too tired to care.

She had woken me up extra early that morning to take me to this service, though I was already awake when she knocked on my door. A nightmare had roused me from my sleep. I struggle to recall any details. Only the bitter cold, the feeling of ropes around my hands, and the cackle of an old woman.

The inside of the chapel was similar to the outside. The only notably different thing was a large stained glass window that made up the entire back wall of the chapel. It showed Arphaxad rising into the heavens, wings outstretched.

Service started with a tall, energetic peregryn climbing onto the stage, welcoming newcomers, and introducing himself to the crowd. Apparently he was on the newer side, as the old one had recently left. Next he asked us to fold our hands in prayer for a fae whose wings were damaged in a fight. Their recovery was going poorly and as a result, they were unable to perform the marriage ritual that all peregryns go through. Erin kept her eyes tightly squeezed shut while the man talked. At one point a single tear slid down her face.

Then he droned on and on about everyone's purpose and place in the world, how the mother has a plan for all of us, and how worshipping Arphaxad will help you fit into the plan. I zoned out for most of it, only snapping back to attention when I heard the word "mate."

"Sir Raymond strayed away from this topic for a handful of reasons, but I believe that it should be at least mentioned. Mates are a clear part of The Mother's plan. She hand picks fae to be put with one another. To go against the call of your mate is to go against The Mother," he said with just as much confidence as he had before.

I tensed. This wasn't the kind of thing that I was hoping to hear at this sermon.

I kept my eyes on the speaker, but I could feel the looks I was receiving from others. Word had quickly traveled around the town and now everyone knew who my mate was, and what the court was doing to keep us apart.

"Some belive that they weren't meant to be with their mate, but if the mother ordained it then it should be. The only explanation for mates not seeming destined to be with one another is that those fae have drifted from the path that The Mother set out for them. If you feel you do not fit with your mate, it is your duty to join them, change, or change them, to get yourself and them back on the path that The Mother intended for you."

I heard a few whispers, too faint to make out, but I knew they were about me. Despite this, I kept my head high and did not break my eyes away from the speaker. He made eye contact with me and I held it. When he saw Erin beside me and put two and two together, his brows raised and his eyes widened.

"Though, of course, there are, um, always exceptions…"

The forest was peaceful, calm. The wind through the trees and the songs of birds provided a soothing sound that distracted me from the, quite frankly, shitty morning that I had.

Erin was extremely apologetic. I told her not to worry about it - I knew she wouldn't do such a thing intentionally. It was just bad luck.

Despite my disagreements with the speaker, I felt as though there was some amount of truth to what he said. If mates truly were chosen by some higher being or plan, who was I to go against it? What was the likelihood that things would be far worse for all those involved if I resisted?

I pushed these thoughts away and focused on the sounds and life of the forest. Out here, the farthest away I'd been from other fae for a while, I felt less alone than I did inside of the most busy parts of the mansion. Though, as I would quickly find, I was not as alone as I thought I was.

I had chosen a small open area with many climbable trees to stop. A path cut through the center of this area and it showed the signs of many fae passing through over the years. Now, a few more were on their way.

Two sets of footsteps, one quiet and one loud, approached me slowly. A feminine laugh accompanied these sounds. It was was joyous and danced freely, but contained a hint of sorrow.

"Stop it, stop!" she giggled. I fell still, placing a hand against the trunk of the tree to keep myself stable.

They came into view below me.

It was a long haired High Fae girl and a lesser fae man, one with horns on his head and hooves on his feet. He was poking at her stomach with his free hand; the other was busy holding hers.

He was not a very attractive fae, but he had a kind look to him. He had small, gentle brown eyes, a young face, tough, strong hands, and powerful, fur covered legs. He butted her in the shoulder with his head and they sat down on the base of the tree across from mine.

It was Rosalind. I hadn't seen her in a long time.

I wanted to call out and make my presence known. I feared that they would discover me at a later time, but I was too curious to get down from the tree.

"I have to go away again," she murmured. The fae beside her sighed and slumped down.

"You just came back…" he replied. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I know…" she said, her voice on the edge of breaking. "I don't know what he expects from me. I am searching as hard as I can but I am getting nowhere." The fae said nothing. "I will try to bring you back something, something to help you out." He shook his head.

"Don't put yourself in danger for me." She huffed. "I'm serious," he said, running a hand through her hair. She huffed again.

They were silent for a few minutes, during which I breathed as quietly and held as still as I could. I was deeply regretting my choice to stop in this part of the forest. Next time I'd go with somewhere a bit more off the beaten path.

"What happens if you fail?" he asked. She didn't reply, so he repeated his question.

"I don't know!" she snapped. "Sorry...I don't like thinking about it."

"Sorry for asking," he replied. She shrugged.

"It is okay." They moved closer to one another and the situation got more personal. I closed my eyes and cursed my luck and curiosity. Voyeurism was not a pastime I considered fun.

"No," she murmured. "No," she repeated a bit louder, a bit more forcefully. My eyes snapped open and my heart leapt into my throat. He pulled his arms off her and sat back down. "He'll know. I don't know how, but he will." The fae grumbled. Rosalind stood and offered him a hand. "Let's keep walking. I...don't like it here," she said.

I listened to the sound of their footsteps fade until they vanished.


	13. Chapter 13: A Suriel

"So why did Kenny leave?" Hadrian asked at the table that morning. All of us were gathered there, except for Rosalind. I hadn't seen her since that short time in the forest.

"I figured he decided to go on a spontaneous vacation, again," Lysander said. Vivianne shook her head.

"He was called back to the Forest House," she said. "Shortly after he returned a few nights ago, I was informed that Quercus had been slain." Erin gasped in surprise, she was the only one who did. Hadrian mumbled something that sounded like "it's about time."

"The official consensus on his death is not known, but all of the brothers are suspects. Perhaps that has something to do with it." That must have been the fight that Kendryek had mentioned.

"Hmm, interesting," Lysander said. "I'd assume they are discussing what to do with the land, then." Vivianne nodded in agreement.

"Kenny better snag us a slice," Hadrian replied. He stabbed into the entire turkey leg in front of him and tore off a chunk.

"I agree. Quercus' fae are good and will have little issue siding with Ken. We'll need them."

"What do you mean?" Erin asked, immediately sounding worried.

"Things in the Spring Court aren't good. Terrin lacks skilled weaponsmiths and the majority of the strong fighters were lost when he tried to unify the court. Like I said, Gaius has been absent for quite some time." He and Erin exchanged looks. "But the problem is…" he gestured towards Vivianne.

"We aren't much better. All of the fae who were good at fighting moved to one of the other courts in the last hundred or so years once they learned of Lord Kendryek's pacifistic tendencies. Judging from what Lysander found, we win, but only because they are not well equipped and, for the time being, poorly unified."

"The best time to attack would be now, but that's not an option in Kendryek's eyes. Few High Lords would let Terrin waltz into their court and threaten their fae without retaliation," Lysander said. "No one would call it unjustified, but alas, he wants to wait for a clearer sign of aggression. I think he clings to the idea that Terrin could be reasoned with."

Just after Lysander finished speaking a flash of flame appeared in the air above the table. From it fell piece of yellow parchment. Lysander santched it out the of the air and read it. He pursed his lips. The air grew tense.

"Anyone wanna take a guess at what it says?"

"Just read it," Vivianne said. Lysander ripped it open.

"Blah blah blah, I have gained parts of Quercus' territory, blah blah blah, I need Lysander here to do some diplomatic things." He set the paper down on the table. "Vivianne, you should go." Her brows flickered.

"Why?"

"Most already see us as a bunch of spineless pushovers, sending a cutesy half-fae dressed in makeup isn't going to help. Show up, punch anyone who disagrees with you, explain that there is an upcoming war, and then leave. I'll write and send a letter today to win over Quercus' second. He's the only one who listens to me there anyway. Plus, I can't spy on the Spring Court, and be a diplomat to those in Quercus'," he said. They stared at each other.

"That would be a direct disobeyment of orders." Lysander shrugged.

"I, quite frankly, don't give a shit. Just go," he told her in a commanding tone. I expected her to lambast him for daring to order her to do something, but she said nothing. They held each other's gaze for a few more moments before she stood up from the table and left.

" _And here I thought Kendryek was the leader at the table,"_ I told him, breaking my silence.

" _She only did it because she knows I am right."_

Lysander and Hadrian spoke only to one another for the rest of breakfast, most of the conversation was silent. The tenseness in the room didn't fade even after Hadrian disappeared into the floor. I was glad when Lysander asked me to get up from the table and follow him.

"What are we doing?" I asked him as we walked down the hallway together.

"I'm going to go talk to a Suriel," he said as he burst out of the doors of the mansion and down the steps.

"Why?" I hurried after him, trying to keep up with him between all of the different groups of fae.

"I have some questions, ones I need answers to, sooner rather than later."

"As opposed to questions you don't need answers to?"

"Yes," he replied flatly as he continued through the street. "When we get there, stay back and let me do the talking. Do not say anything, not a word."

He turned abruptly and entered inside of a butcher's shop.

Inside my breath turned to mist in front of me. Shelves were covered in layers of filth, on top of which lay pieces tails, feet, stomachs, and even heads with eyeballs still in their sockets, all from animals which were unrecognizable to me. Lysander met with a stout, wide man at the counter. His features were unnaturally piglike; his eyes were beady, his ears half pointed, and his teeth were a mess. I assumed he was a fae or at the least a half one, but he was too grimy for me to make a guess as to his court.

"The usual, Lysander?" he asked. His speech was thick and difficult to understand.

"If by the usual you mean the thing I got once, five years ago, yes, the usual," Lysander replied. The fae grunted awkwardly and gestured behind him.

"Is in on the back shelf, far lef. You'll see ih," he said. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. "Buh firs, fifteen rubes," he said, holding out a hand. Lysander raised an eyebrow.

"I'll take a look at it before we settle on a price." The fae blocked the entrance to the back with a meaty arm.

"I don trus you."

"Yeah and I don't trust you either, but unfortunately you're the only one who has what I need." Lysander winnowed to the other side of the doorway and walked inside the back area.

The fae shook his head then turned his attention to me. He eyed me like one of his prime cuts before turning sour.

"You are Allyn?" I nodded. He grunted. I didn't respond. He started to open his mouth when Lysander burst into the room.

"Gods above and below, is this from an infant?" Lysander held up a small scaly leg that had a particularly interesting aroma, a nauseating mix of chicken meat and flowers. The fae shrugged. "I hope I never have to come back to this shithole," Lysander said as he threw a handful fo coins on the ground. He stuffed it into a bag and practically ran out of the door, I followed.

"Who is that guy?"

"Some bastard winter court fae. I don't know much about him and I don't really want to, but he's the only one who still sells dragon flesh in the town and I made a promise last time I talked to the suriel," Lysander replied as he sped down the street and eventually out of the gates of Kirkwall.

We passed by tree after tree after tree, each one more or less the same as the one before it, until we reached a different area of the forest. The trees changed from ancient oaks with thick bodies to slender, young birch. The ground around us was bare of fallen leaves and the air felt warmer. I looked behind us to find the line at which this change in scenery began, but none existed.

Lysander stopped walking and looked around. He raised a hand and stretched his fingers out towards something ethereal. He searched for it for a moment before falling still.

"Grab my shoulder," he commanded me. I did as I was told.

The world itself hiccupped. I felt a tremendous lurching sensation as everything blurred beyond recognition then snapped back into focus.

No longer were we in a patch of spring in an autumn forest. I found myself in a patch of autumn in a forest of birch trees. Everything was spinning.

I put my hands on my knees and vomited, then stumbled to a tree and attempted to make my head stop spinning.

"Oh, right, sorry," Lysander said as he immediately began walking away. "I forget how disorienting warping can be to fae." I hadn't even opened my mouth when he said, "to answer your question, think of it like this. There are many worlds, all of them like tangled pieces of string. Sometimes this string crosses over itself. With some complex, but low power magic, I can use that to my advantage." He found a clearing, set the flesh on the ground, then sat down a few feet away.

"And now, we wait," he said. "Sorry for rushing so much, but they only tend to come out in the morning." I spit the taste of bile out of my mouth and stood nearby.

"Why are we here again?" I asked, hoping I sounded as annoyed as I felt.

"Suriel will truthfully answer any question you ask them. Sit down, you'll scare it off." I raised my eyebrows, but took a seat.

"I thought they were supposed to be terrible, malevolent fae who enjoy doing harm and tricking others," I said. "Surely they wouldn't be afraid of two petite half-fae." Lysander shrugged.

"Some are, some aren't. I'm just hoping the one I knows comes back. If not, this could be a little messy, as normally you're supposed to trap them," he replied. I tensed.

"If I die, my ghost is going to haunt you for the rest of your days."

"Even when I bathe?" he asked. I immediately blushed and shook my head.

"I'll take breaks."

"Ah, damn, that's disappointing."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're gross?" I asked. He chuckled.

"You have no idea how many times." He started flipping one of his knives in the air. A few moments passed as I worked up my courage.

"So um, what happened the other night? I don't remember much," I said. I hoped he could shed some light on the confusing things I was feeling.

"You didn't win the drinking game, in case you were wondering. Not even close," he told me. I had guessed that much. "We played some games, talked, and then eventually I took you back to the mansion."

"Why do I feel like you're not telling me the whole story?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Maybe you just don't trust me." I paused, preparing to respond. Then, a great dread filled me as the world around me held its breath. The forest went completely silent, even the wind stopped blowing in the trees.

A moment later a creature tore into the clearing, diving on the dragon's meat and devouring it in seconds. It paused, then snapped the bone in half and sucked the marrow out from inside of the bone. It greedily turned its eyes to me.

All I could see were those two eyes and a yellowed, rotted hand. It's face and body was obscured by dark, almost ethereal cloth. The surface of this fabric shifted and stirred in the light. I got the strange feeling that if I tore away the cloth, nothing would be below it.

"Good morning," Lysander said energetically.

"You fulfilled your promise, Son of Stone," it said, it's voice was a blend of babbling brooks, the call of birds, and the screams of dying animals. "The blood of the young is so much better than that if the old."

"Really? I've always found that older creatures have more flavor to them, though the texture is usually sub-par." The creatures hood shook.

"Too dusty, to devoid of life. It is their innocence that I crave." Lysander shrugged.

"Innocence is overrated."

"I know you did not cross the border to talk about your taste in meats, Son of Stone. What do you require of me?" Lysander paused they stared at each other.

"What did the Bone Carver have for breakfast last Thursday?" Lysander asked, cocking his head and taking a step closer.

"Well roasted turkey and a glass of wine mixed with raw wyvern eggs." Lysander broke out into a grin and stepped towards the creature, arms outstretched. They hugged each other tightly. Lysander gave the creature a hearty pat on the back before letting go and backing away.

"I want to know if my father is still alive." The creature took a deep, rattling breath.

"You lie," it snarled.

"Alright, you got me," Lysander said, taking a step back. "I only have a few questions. I know you like to ramble, but you're going to have to be concise." " _Guards have been sent to this location. We've been detected,"_ he added to me. How he knew, I didn't know.

" _Damn, that was fast."_ My heart slowly climbed into my throat. We weren't equipped to fight anyone.

"What is the outcome of this war?" The Suriel thought for a moment.

"Neither side will gain the victory they seek." That's reassuring.

"What are Terrin's true motives?"

"To find and wed his mate," the Suriel said. Lysander cocked his head. " _Something is off."_

"I said his true motives, not the whitewashed 'this is what I'm telling others so they don't hate me' version," Lysander said, his voice hardening. The Suriel stared at him, those empty sockets filled to the brim with hate.

"To protect himself from the magic of the mating bond. To avoid the insanity that plagued his father. To appease The Mother," the Suriel said, somewhat bitterly. Lysander leaned forward, a hand drifting to the knives at his waist.

"And who is his mate?"

"Allyn," I held in my gasp as my heart leapt to my throat. Hearing the words made the terror all too real once more. If a Suriel said those words, it had to be true. "You are brave man taking her this close to him."

"Bravery or insanity, I no longer know," he replied. He tensed. " _get ready to run."_

"You are insane, Lysander, to come here alone with her. You are playing directly into Terrin's hands."

Lysander shrugged. "And so what if I am? He cannot catch me."

"We shall see about that, Lysander."

The clearing suddenly exploded into violence. The trees rustled as guards stormed through the bushes, running towards us with swords at the ready. One of them, a man with a differently shaped helmet, had a strange, ornate tube strapped to his back. The Suriel screamed at the top of its lungs, the sound rattling inside of my ears and filling my skull until I couldn't bear it anymore.

Lysander whipped two of his knives at the suriel, both of them striking the creature in the chest. It dissolved into dust before disappearing completely. In it's placed formed a girl, a long blond haired, green eyed woman with powerful features and a commanding presence. She instantly split into many copies, her different forms surrounding us as she advanced.

I did as I was told and started to run in the direction of the place we came, but the fae chasing me were faster. I was quickly surrounded. They advanced with weapons but did not move to attack me.

"If you come with us, you will not be hurt," the one with the strange tube said. For a split second, I considered it. We were outnumbered and out-weaponed. The chances of us getting out of this were slim. Maybe I could bargain with them.

Then I shook my head. I wasn't going to let myself get captured like that. I would rather die. I raised my hands and prepared to fight.

"Jarrin, look," one of them shouted, pointing at the woman and Lysander.

They stood a few feet apart from one another, both uncomfortably rigid. They stared at one another unblinkingly. Lysander's eyes were hard, full of an unfeeling determination. Her eyes were wide with pain and horror. Blood poured out from the woman's nose and ears, running down her face, flowing into her mouth, and dripping off her chin. She made a strained gurgling noise.

"What the fuck?" one of the fae warriors screamed, pointing at the woman. The fae with the strange weapon, Jarrin, immediately turned around, knelt down, slipped the weapon off of his shoulder, aimed it at Lysander, and pulled the trigger.

 _BOOM_

An explosion shook the clearing, a cloud of smoke surrounded Jarrin. A metallic smell hit the air. Lysnder was knocked to the ground and sent sprawling out across the clearing. I cried out his name, but I was powerless to help.

Jarrin shouted something at his allies and sprinted to the woman's side, leaving Lysander on the ground.

I looked at the fae around me. Without Jarrin, there was four of them. Each one of them had a sword and a buckler. I had no weapons and my only friend was lying facedown on the dirt. I was in enemy territory, far from any help. No Kendryek, no Hadrian, no Erin, no Vivianne, and no Lysander. Terror made my heart beat so hard I thought it would burst.

I was alone.

In that moment, I felt something deep inside me shift.

"Drop your weapons," I told the fae around me. A power filled and resonated inside the words. "Drop them on the ground." Their eyes turned glassy. The grips on their weapons froze. "Set them on the ground." One of them lowered his sword and placed it on the grass. The others followed suit. I nodded shakily, not knowing how I was doing this or how long I could keep it up. I pointed an uncertain finger into the distance.

"Walk in that direction until I tell you to stop." Eerily, they all turned at once and began moving in the direction of my finger. "Good." As soon as I was sure they would no longer be bothering us, I dove towards Lysander and shook him.

His eyes were half open. There was a small, bloodied hole on his left shoulder. I flipped him over and found a much larger wound. The flesh was in tatters. Blood soaked his shirt and the ground he had fallen on. My stomach roiled.

" _Carry me to where we came in,"_ he told me through our connection. " _Do not worry about hurting me. I will get us out of here."_ He was lighter than I expected and easy to pick up. I carried him in my arms towards that strange patch of oak trees. My arm became warm with blood.

I looked around at the clearing. The battle had ended as quickly as it had began. All of the Spring Court soldiers were gone, dispersed into the trees. Jarrin had collapsed over the fae woman he held in his lap. Blood leaked from one of his ears. Neither of them moved.

I broke into a run. The image of their broken bodies followed me.


End file.
